krista

The Church

2011-03-01T13:02:00.000-08:00

For quite a while now, I've struggled with what the Church should look like and how that should manifest in my life and in the local body with whom I worship.
I need some time to really reflect on what I've heard to say more on the topic. But if you are curious, please listen to these two podcasts and let me know your thoughts.
Thank you!

Samuel Wells, Choose Life

Ravi Zacharias, The Revelation of God Through Us (1 of 2)

Working on her stand-up

2011-01-21T09:58:00.000-08:00

She's got the punchline down, you just have to REALLY listen...

We have a no-frogs-inside the house rule, but this time I'll make an exception.

2010-11-10T09:56:00.000-08:00

Top 10 Reasons Why I Talk A Lot About Healthy Start: #9 My Mom

2010-11-08T12:11:00.000-08:00

I have a mom. I appreciate her.

I'm sorry she had to wait for me to reach my 30's to begin to understand, even in just a small part, her experiences, losses, & sacrifices as a young mom.

She reminds me of and apologizes for falling short when I was young. But as the years pass and I've (too slowly) matured, I recognize I fall short on a daily basis as well. How can I hold this against her?
She loved us.
She stuck it out.
I love the Bible verse, 1 Peter 4:8, "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."

Plus I have many memories of ways she came through for me, my sisters, and others around us:
-She read books and prayed with us every night before bed.
-She surrounded us in a supportive community at church and school.
-She was hospitable; offering a listening ear, meal, and our small home to people with deep struggles.
-She was determined to make a better life for us; even if that meant swallowing pride and accepting help for a time.
-She expected independence & responsibility from us....and remained consistent.

I'm still mourning the fact that it has taken me so long to recognize and commend Mom's efforts.

I'd like to take part in encouraging young moms; to not give up, even if you have a strong-willed child, like myself &
to take the hard road. It will pay off in the end.

Thanks, Mom. I love you.

Top 10 Reasons Why I Talk A Lot About Healthy Start: #10 Pete's Bandaid

2010-10-15T17:38:00.000-07:00

It's strange how seemingly insignificant moments in my past come back vividly by the littlest prompt or cue. No matter how trivial it seems at the time, to me or others around me, certain moments leave lasting imprints in my heart and mind.

Pete's Bandaid did that for me several months ago. Pete, a good friend of ours, works at the Baby Fold. This time was not the first time he spoke about his job, but his bandaid "badge" struck a chord with me.

For several days, he wore a bandaid with "400 women" written on it. This number represents the number of pregnant women last year who need support because they themselves are victims of neglect or abuse or are struggling in ways many of us cannot imagine. They need help....but the funds aren't there to offer support.

This bandaid conjured up a childhood memory when I was 5 or 6 years old. Walking home from Vacation Bible School, the pastor of the tiny church chatted with my mom and me. He noticed I was picking a scab on my arm, and gently pointed out that that scab was God's way of providing a bandaid and allowing my wound to heal. To pick it off was hurting and hindering that healing process. I've never forgotten that metaphor.

One of my favorite authors, Henri Nouwen, in his book, With Burning Hearts, defines the commonality of pain, "If there is any word that summarizes well our pain, it is the word 'loss.' We have lost so much!" As I've grown up, I've learned we all go through various losses...some much deeper than others. I've struggled with the question, if God cared about my scraped elbow, wouldn't He care about humans' experience of loss in all sorts of forms?

I continue to wrestle with this, but grow more and more convinced we are to be part of God's Bandaid. This verse has been a recurring anthem in my mind, "Since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." 1 John 4:11

It's overwhelming and paralyzing, at times, to find a place or a role in the world's healing process. But Pete's Bandaid was just the nudge I needed.

Am I more of a Sweet Mother or a Glucose Mother? Wait, don't answer that....

2010-09-24T14:02:00.001-07:00

Isaac is helping set up my Sugar Mama Cakes website. They provide possible domain names.

I'd love to hear a dramatic reading of this list....any takers?

From Evernote:
isaacgaff.com - Register New Domain
Clipped from: https://www.bluehost.com/cgi/register
Standard Domain $10 .com .net .org .info .biz .us
cakesbysugarmama
mycakesbysugarmama
cakesbysugarmamaonline
thecakesbysugarmama
webcakesbysugarmama
cakesbysugarmamacentral
bestcakesbysugarmama
newcakesbysugarmama
freecakesbysugarmama
yourcakesbysugarmama
cakesbysugarmamafinder
cakesbysugarmamaworld
cakesbysugarmamasite
cakesbysugarmamahome
officialcakesbysugarmama
aboutcakesbysugarmama
justcakesbysugarmama
supercakesbysugarmama
virtualcakesbysugarmama
cakesbysugarmamalive
cakesbysugarmother
cakesbysweetmama
cakebysugarmama
cakesbysugarmum
cakesbysugarmamaplus
cakesbysugarmamanation
cakesbysugarmamacenter
cakesbyhoneymama
cakesbysugarmamagroup
cakesbysugarmamanet
barbysugarmama
cakesbysugarmummy
cakesbyglucosemama
dishbysugarmama
cakesbysweetmother
allcakesbysugarmama
cakesbysugarmamaservices
procakesbysugarmama
cakesbysugarmamaclub
cakesbysugarmamashop
cakebysugarmother
cakebysweetmama
cakesbysugarmommy
cakesbymoneymama
coverbysugarmama
easycakesbysugarmama
bigcakesbysugarmama
cakesbysweetmum
cakesbyhoneymother
cakebysugarmum
cakebyhoneymama
barbysugarmother
onecakesbysugarmama
topcakesbysugarmama
realcakesbysugarmama
greatcakesbysugarmama
123cakesbysugarmama
cakesbysugarmama123
cakesbysugarmamanetwork
cakesbysugarmamaworks
cakesbysugarmamaforum
cakesbysugarmamazone
intercakesbysugarmama
hotcakesbysugarmama
netcakesbysugarmama
barbysweetmama
cakesbysugarmomma
cakesbyspoonfulmama
coatbysugarmama
cakesbysweetmummy
cakesbysugarmamausa
cakesbyhoneymum
cakesbyglucosemother
cakebysugarmummy
cakebyglucosemama
barbysugarmum
barbyhoneymama
dishbysugarmother
dishbysweetmama
cakebysweetmother
cakesbysugarmom
cakesbybreadmama
bunsbysugarmama
cakesbysweetmommy
cakesbyhoneymummy
cakesbyglucosemum
cakesbymoneymother
cakebysugarmommy
cakebymoneymama
barbysugarmummy
barbyglucosemama
dishbysugarmum
dishbyhoneymama
coverbysugarmother
coverbysweetmama

Note: may only be interesting to their grandparents...

2010-09-24T09:50:00.000-07:00

(And for the record, he is saying, "clock.")

This is what happens when Big Sis isn't home

2010-09-18T07:45:00.000-07:00

The joke was so good the first time....

2010-09-15T16:35:00.000-07:00

Laurel is working on her stand-up.

Their version of the Knock-knock joke

2010-09-15T10:25:00.000-07:00

(Please ignore the piles of junk in the background...)

The small world of my neighborhood

2010-09-13T11:41:00.000-07:00

Now that H is going to Kindergarten at our cute, little neighborhood school, we're getting great opportunities to get to know our neighbors.

It's sad to say we've lived here about 9 years, and there are lots of families we haven't met. It's too easy to stay in my own little world, within my own four walls. But I digress.

H was invited to play at a classmate's house, just a few doors up. Turns out, this little girl's mom once worked at The Baby Fold....as a case worker for Healthy Start!

Sidenote: If you follow my Twitter/Facebook account, I've been talking about this worthwhile program...and how I want to raise money for them. And just a warning, I plan on doing it more and more. =)

She was laid off two years ago, because of budget cuts. AND without my prompting, she asked if she could join me in volunteering for them. That, in and of itself, speaks to the character and quality of The Baby Fold's and Healthy Start's programs.

So, we're off to work in the storage closet in the next week! Excited to expand my circle of friends and even more, expand the Healthy Start's outreach!

The Fireplace

2010-08-25T11:08:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago, I found boxes of old photos and enjoyed reminiscing about my childhood, college, and newlywed memories. I'm not a great scrapbooker, but I want to write some of these memories down before they fade completely away....

Here's one memory that probably will never leave me, but still good to share.
(It was less painful to write this in third person....distances myself a bit. ;) )

The Fireplace Saga

Once upon a time, in a charming little neighborhood, a young couple bought their first house. The open house flyer described it as a "doll house."

And despite the avocado cabinets,

various shades of shag carpet,

and the colorful slate tile scattered around the house,

the couple signed their life away and moved in.

There was much updating to be done. Wallpaper, floors, cabinets, etc.
But there was one particular aspect of the house the husband could not tolerate.
The painted brick fireplace.

"What was wrong with it?" thought the wife. "Yes, it would be nice if the brick was back to its original state. But with the right decor, it would be fine.

Plus there were so many other projects to do...."

But the husband could wait no longer. The hideous white brick had to go. It must be restored to its natural beauty.

So on December 17, 2001 (or so, the wife isn't sure on the exact date, but is certain she had only one more week before Christmas), while the wife started her week at school, the husband, reassuring his wife how simple and quick this would be, set to work.

The night before in preparation, he built a "tent." So confident he could keep the dust contained in this "tent," he uncharacteristically asked his wife to take this picture.

"This tent would contain the dust brought in by the sand blaster," he promised.

His wife, knowing her dear husband had researched extensively before undertaking this project, was still leery of the tent. So at her request, he assured her he would cover all their belongings with tarps for extra assurance.

Monday morning, the wife wished her husband luck, and went off to work. As you may have guessed, the project was not as simple as the dear husband planned it to be.

The wife is unclear on ALL the details that unfolded that day, but here are a few of the obstacles he encountered:

-The rental store only had a larger sand blaster available.
One that had to be pulled by a truck.
One that was normally used for bridges.
Yes, you read that right.....BRIDGES.

-The dear husband ran out of sand....twice.
TWICE.
Hundreds of pounds of sand.
HUNDREDS.
And STILL wasn't able to remove all the paint.

-The beloved tent?
Failure.

FAIL.
Too painful for the wife to say much more on this.

-The promised tarps, for added assurance?
Nowhere to be found.
Forgotten?
This remains a mystery.
And a sore subject.
Very sore subject.

The school day came to an end much quicker than the dear husband planned.
His wife had arrived home before he could warn her about what she was about to encounter. He saw her car pull into the driveway. He tried to meet her at the front door before she entered, but his beloved "tent" was in the way. So as he worked his way around the house from the back door, his wife stood at the door in horror at what her eyes were seeing.

The only thoughts she remembers repeating over and over were, "I'm going to kill him. Or at least inflict lots of pain. No, I'm going to kill him." There was no piece of furniture, book, ledge, or crevice that was not covered in ashy, dark dust.
Everything, EVERYTHING, looked like it had been through a fire or a sooty sand storm.

There was no room to enter through the front door, so the wife went around back only to run into her beloved husband in the driveway.

(This is where, what could only be described as divine intervention occurred.Something out of character happened.)

You see, the dear wife has a temper. When left to her own devices, she's not very patient. She has difficulty letting go of grudges.

But when she saw her husband, wearing the gas/dust mask around his neck, his face plastered with the same ashy, dark soot she had just seen, except for the large circles around his eyes from where the mask was, she got this uncontrollable urge to laugh. The kind of laugh where you can't speak. That brings tears...and the fear you're going to pee your pants.
She was overwhelmed with a sense of how ridiculously funny all this was and an empathy at how tortured her husband looked at the thought of his wife coming home to all of it.
There is no doubt God intervened that day.

Real tears and anger still came, but they remained tempered with the fact at how funny it all was.
Friends also helped soften the blow.
She'll always remember being told that this event will be a pivotal moment in her marriage. How she decides to react and handle it will contribute to which direction her relationship will go.
Then those wise dear friends came over and helped wash every ledge, dish, glass, book, window...until the dear couple's house felt almost new.

And one week later, the couple was able to decorate for Christmas.

The first Christmas in their home.
And even more remarkable, they were even speaking to one another.

For several years, the fireplace was left untouched.
Today, 9 years later, the fireplace looks like this.

Beautiful.
Full of memories.
(And do you see the sand blasted brick peeking through?)
Yep, it's also loaded with personal lessons.

This doll house has character, but within the lives of its inhabitants, it's built a lot of character as well.

I was completely fine until....

2010-08-23T09:21:00.000-07:00

...I found this poem hidden inside the rest of the papers given to us at open house.

First Day of School

She started school this morning,
And she seemed so very small.
As I walked there beside her
In the kindergarten hall.

And as she took her place beside
The others in the class,
I realized how all too soon
Those first few years can pass.

Remembering, I saw her as
She first learned how to walk.
The words alone that we alone made out
When she began to talk.

This little girl so much absorbed
In learning how to write.
It seems as though she must have grown
To girlhood overnight.

My eyes were blurred, but hastily
I brushed the tears away.
Lest by some word or sign of mine
I spoil her first big day.

Oh how I longed to stay with her
And keep her by the hand.
To lead her through the places
that she couldn't understand.

And something closely kin to fear
Was mingled with my pride.
I knew she would no longer be
A baby by my side.

But she must have her chance to live,
To work her problems out,
The privilege to grow and learn
What life is all about.

And I must share my little girl
With friends and work and play;
She's not a baby anymore-
She's in kindergarten today.

Now I'm a blubbery mess. Unexpected.
I blame that darn poem.
Tomorrow is the first official full day, so I best get it out now.

Hannah & Katie

2010-08-16T13:51:00.000-07:00

I lost track of time today looking at old photos. I was supposed to organizing and freeing up space, and ended up reminiscing about high school, college, our almost 13 years of marriage, and our kiddos.

In light of these two sweet girls heading to kindergarten in a few days, here's a photo I took of them somewhere between the ages of 1-2.

Here's a photo of them I took today.

They are now both big sisters to these cute kiddos:

Note:
-Gabe and Laurel are now about the same age as Katie and Hannah were in the first picture.
-Laurel is much less cooperative than Hannah was at her age. I think I'm in trouble.

These girls have grown up to be smart, independent, all-around great kids.
A lot is about to change for these two.
Full day kindergarten.
Losing teeth.
Reading.
Gymnastics.
Moving.

No, we're not moving.
Katie's family is moving in the next year or two. We still have time with them, but it will be bittersweet when that day arrives. I'm so thankful for the families I have had the opportunity to babysit. Little did I know that these dear people would become such good friends....for Hannah, Laurel, and myself.

A big day for H

2010-08-15T11:40:00.000-07:00

-Found the kindergarten class list today. Her teacher's name is Ms. Brown and she is in the same class as her good buddy, Jace!

-Lost her first tooth at Chili's. Corn on the cob does the trick!

Huh?

2010-08-12T22:19:00.000-07:00

Is that photo upside down, or am I delirious? Sorry. I'll figure it out tomorrow.

Sent from my iPhone

Sooo close...

2010-08-12T22:15:00.000-07:00

Isaac is helping me with Harry's glasses, then just add a couple more items & it will be done! I'll post final pics tomorrow.

Carving cake books, ugh. I know with more experience, I'll get better at the realistic look. But for now, I'm very grateful for that Gryffindor scarf! ;)

Some bumps along the way....

2010-08-12T20:23:00.000-07:00

..but it's coming together. Hoping all the objects will cover up all my mistakes.

Harry Potter cake

2010-08-10T19:26:00.000-07:00

The pieces are coming together. I'll feel much better when they all transfer safely to the cake in the next couple days.

Do you recognize any of these items from the books/movies?

Achoo!

2010-08-10T19:11:00.000-07:00

Check out this video on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTSWFzEl5Oo&feature=youtube_gdata

Submit for you evidence on why I'm too quick to speak...

2010-08-04T09:26:00.000-07:00

I just returned from a lovely massage at a great spa/salon in town.
My friend, Janet, found a great deal and I can't resist those, so off I went.
My masseuse was friendly and a tad funny.
Here's our brief conversation before the session began:

Nice masseuse lady: (looking over my information) It looks like you aren't telling me the whole truth here on your chart....

Me: (laughing, trying to read if she's joking) Oh.....you must mean my age?

Nice masseuse lady: No....you checked "no" for stress, but I see you have a 1 year old.

Fine. So I look every bit my 35 years.
But thank you, nice masseuse lady, for reminding me....It's my kids' fault.

Sent from my iPad

2010-08-03T12:43:00.000-07:00

I'm starting the Harry Potter cake today. This is a challenging cake for me. It's one of those that I worry if I can make it look like the image I have in my mind.

Just trying to focus on one step at a time. Right now, I'm making the Snitch. If you're an HP fan, you'll know what I'm talking about...,

Sent from my iPhone

Testing posts via the iPhone.

2010-08-01T20:10:00.000-07:00

If I'm gonna post more, I better make it easier for myself!

Here's a random, but wonderful photo taken by www.susanchambersdesigns.blogspot.com

My thoughts in a list

2010-08-01T13:23:00.000-07:00

1. I have had trouble finding interesting things to blog about. I love reading blogs and subscribe to lots of them, but every time I sit down to type here in my own space, I feel a bit sheepish. My life isn't all that interesting.

But I love the potential for community here. Sharing thoughts, getting responses from family, friends, strangers. There's something remarkable about social media....connecting people who wouldn't otherwise have a chance to share with one another.

So I'm going to try to return to blogging. Hoping all of you will put in your two cents. Please comment....the two of you who still read it, that is. :)

2. Staying at home has been a bit of a struggle for me. I know, this is far from a third world problem, and I keep reminding myself of the luxury of being able to stay home. It continues to be a lesson in humility...a lesson I expected to learn much more quickly than I have.

But over the last few months, I've found a couple outlets that I hope help me return more refreshed to my girls and to my God whose love & involvement in this world still baffles me.

3. I have a few goals for this virtual place:
-posting more photos of the girls for my family
-dreaming....and attempting to see if I can turn them into realities:
-documenting the journey of starting a custom cakes business. It's hard to put myself out there, afraid it may fail. But there it is. I hope writing about it will keep me motivated.
-Healthy Start....a preventative program that reaches out to young moms in my community who are struggling. I get to volunteer there and I have big dreams of helping raise money for them.

Okay. I put it out there. Now I have to do what I say I'm going to do. :)

H at preschool

2010-05-18T11:58:00.001-07:00

Lots going on...and I finally feel like I have something to blog about....but in the meantime, here's a cute video of H and her classmates performing for our Mother's Day Luau. (I hope it works.)g

It's a pigtail kind of day

2010-04-22T06:20:00.000-07:00

My future's so bright....

2010-03-04T11:18:00.000-08:00

Birthday girl

2009-10-27T08:49:00.000-07:00

5 years ago today, I became a mom. One of the best days of my life.
Hannah is a beautiful, sweet-hearted little girl. I'm so proud of her and thankful she's in our lives.

Last Saturday, we went to Rader Pumpkin Patch for her birthday. Despite the mud, it was a good day for it! After a train ride, face painting, and picking pumpkins, we headed home for some cake!
Here are a few pictures in no particular order:

My poor, sweet 2nd born...

2009-09-16T12:38:00.000-07:00

I'm not near as good as keeping up with photos, let alone posting them here. I'm sure I have some valid reasons for it not being as easy, but still, I'm sorry, my little Sweet Pea.
So, here's what has been happening lately:
She's got two teeth. Two very sharp teeth.

And puts everything in her mouth. Everything. Especially if it's the bottom of a shoe. Or trash. Dirt is good too.

She LOVES to move and doesn't want to miss anything!
(With her partner in crime, Gabe, of course! Susan, I think we might be in trouble...)

Isaac had to lower her mattress, because she recently discovered how to pull herself up to sitting and standing!

Smiles and laughs come very easily to her....especially when her sister gives her attention.
(And yes, I really like the fish shirt.)

Laurel truly has brought even more light and laughter into our house.

Her name, Laurel Susanne, comes from two important people in my life. My prayer is that she will have the committment, love, and hard work ethic of her Grandma Sue and the open arms, listening ear, and sense of humor of her Grandma Jan (Laurel).

Disclaimer: My mom and grandma have many, many more wonderful traits....too many to list here! =)

A little push

2009-09-16T12:15:00.000-07:00

This came in the mail.

It's my confirmation booklet for the marathon. Even after all this time I've invested, I'm considering not running. What really are my motives? Do I really think I have something to prove this time around? I only have one more really long run...what is my problem?!? Blah, blah, blah....
But I LOVE race day.
So the booklet got me out the door....today.

8 1/2 months

2009-09-15T11:19:00.000-07:00

Here are both my girls around the same age. Aren't they cute?!

Crawling

2009-07-29T18:41:00.000-07:00

Had to post a video for the Grandmas.....

Beach baby

2009-06-18T10:13:00.000-07:00

It's been too hot for Laurel, but today we had enough cloud cover to
keep her happy. Luckily she has been a champion sleeper!

Bathtime!

2009-06-17T18:11:00.000-07:00

Walking the beach after dinner

2009-06-17T16:34:00.000-07:00

Test for mobile post

2009-06-16T17:45:00.000-07:00

Here's a quick test for mobile posting.

For the grandmas

2009-06-03T07:48:00.000-07:00

Here's a couple videos of Hannah showing off her ballet & tap skills. (Don't worry, Laurel was rescued right after the filming of these movies. =) ).

Update in pictures

2009-04-14T06:54:00.000-07:00

On the hunt for eggs.

Cousin Emma, Laurel, and Hannah posing in their fancy dresses.

Chillin' with dad

Cute bunny glasses lasted all but 5 minutes. But they were cute while they lasted!

This could be the reason why.....

They love each other. It's so cute to see them together. I may have to remind them of this in a few years.

Not living up to the outfit's claims. =)

Doesn't she look all grown up? She talks like it too....saying things like "I would rather..." or "I prefer....."

Hannah and the girls doing what they do best: play dress up.
The other day, Hannah said, "My name is Barbie Grace. Today we are getting married, but (dramatic sigh with eyes looking up to the skies) our princes are in jail. We have to rescue them."
I think we need to discuss raising the standards.

Questionnaire

2009-02-28T08:54:00.000-08:00

I'm a sucker for these kind of things...

Answered by Hannah, age 4

1. What is something mom always says to you?
-nothing
2. What makes mom happy?
- when I listen
3. What makes mom sad?
-when I don't listen
4. How does your mom make you laugh?
-when you say and do funny things
5. What was your mom like as a child?
-a present, a daughter, a hug
6. How old is your mom?
-Can you tell me? I don't remember.....33?
7. How tall is your mom?
-taller than me
8. What is her favorite thing to do?
-be on the computer
9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
-I don't really know.
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
-a baby
11. What is your mom really good at?
-ha ha, I don't know
12. What is your mom not very good at?
-that's not a good question
13. What does your mom do for a job?
-take care of me
14.What is your mom's favorite food?
-is it ice cream?
15.What makes you proud of your mom?
-When you give hugs and kisses to me.
16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
-Dora, I guess.
17. What do you and your mom do together?
-play games
18. How are you and your mom the same?
-we have the same hair style
19. How are you and your mom different?
-different colors of eyes
20. How do you know your mom loves you?
-because you give hugs and kisses
21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
-he's funny
22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
-Target

1. What is something dad always says to you?
-nothing
2. What makes dad happy?
-when I obey, same as you!
3. What makes dad sad?
-when I don't listen
4. How does your dad make you laugh?
-when he says funny things
5. What was your dad like as a child?
-a baby
6. How old is your dad?
-21? I don't know.
7. How tall is your dad?
-taller than the baby, actually
8. What is his favorite thing to do?
-play hide and seek with me
9. What does your dad do when you're not around?
-go to a grocery store
10. If your dad becomes famous, what will it be for?
-glasses
11. What is your dad really good at?
-kisses
12. What is your dad not very good at?
-he's good at everything
13. What does your dad do for a job?
-takes care of my baby sister and me and my mommy
14.What is your dad's favorite food?
-hamburger
15.What makes you proud of your dad?
-When he gives me kisses
16. If your dad were a cartoon character, who would he be?
-Boots or Benny
17. What do you and your dad do together?
-exercise
18. How are you and your dad the same?
-we're pretty close to the same color of our eyes
19. How are you and your dad different?
-my feet are smaller and his are a little big
20. How do you know your dad loves you?
-because he has a heart
21. What does your dad like most about your mom?
-that you like him
22. Where is your dad's favorite place to go?
-is it Sam's Club or something?

The last several days

2009-02-26T14:31:00.001-08:00

-My sister Bobbi and her little girl, Jovi, came for a few days. It was so nice and continues to make me wish we lived in the same town.

-Laurel is "talking"! We joked that she's only been talking when Hannah is asleep....it's the only time she gets a word in!

Warning: long videos ahead

2009-02-26T12:56:00.000-08:00

Probably only interesting to their moms and grandmas....and I promised mom I'd post a few.

For Grandma Sue

2009-02-13T12:11:00.000-08:00

Here's a little bit of what Hannah is learning in dance class.

Today is the day!

2009-02-11T11:59:00.000-08:00

My "maternity leave" is over and the kids have returned.
I don't know who's happier....me or H. Either way, it's a good day.

When did you realize you were an adult?

2009-01-29T07:20:00.000-08:00

When the checkout girl addressed me as "Ma'am." Even then, I convinced myself that if she knew me, this clearly wouldn't have happened.

Married 11 years.
2 kids.
Found several gray hairs this past month.
Loves crosswords and jigsaw puzzles.

But still in denial. I'm probably going to be that weird old lady who dresses and acts like she's still in college. Or maybe I've already arrived.....

How I'd spend $1000

2009-01-29T07:19:00.000-08:00

As much as I'd like to go on a weekend getaway with my hubby, I'd put it toward debt. Blech.

My first job: food service

2009-01-29T07:18:00.001-08:00

Flipping burgers and scrubbing toilets

I was 15 and had to get a work permit from the school's guidance counselor. I don't remember exactly how long I lasted, but I definitely didn't make it past a semester. I was the newbie, and a really young one at that, so cleaning the bathrooms and the other popular jobs were lovingly assigned to me.

Plinky

2009-01-29T07:14:00.001-08:00

I found this new site that I'm going to try out. It gives daily prompts/ideas, which I'm hoping will encourage me to post more here! You should check it out....or post your answers in my comments....I want to know how'd you'd answer them as well!

25 Random Things About Me

2009-01-25T18:51:00.000-08:00

If you are on facebook, you're probably sick of reading these. But I've been at a loss of what to post here, so here's mine. I won't officially tag anyone, but I'd love to read yours!

1. I have 2 daughters: Hannah, 4 years old (going on 16) and Laurel, 6 weeks old.

2. I've been married 11 years to Isaac and am a better person because of him.

3. I stay at home with our girls. I really love it and don't regret our decision. But sometimes I feel a little lost, unsure of who I am and what I'm skilled at outside from being Mom. This season of life will fly by, so I'm just trying to not take it for granted.

4. I love to sing, but rarely listen to music. Mostly I listen to NPR. This must change....not NPR (It's great), just more music.

5. I've run 4 marathons...not fast, but I finished! This is probably most shocking to those who knew me growing up. Hoping to run Chicago again this fall. Someday I want to run the New York City marathon.

6. I strongly dislike seafood. I wish I could enjoy it, but the texture, look, and smell is too much for restraining the urge to gag.

7. I want to like camping. I've done it and still want to take my girls camping in Wyoming and Colorado, but the discomfort of primitive toilets or lack thereof eventually makes me grumpy.

8. I love baskets/containers.

9. My wardrobe is pretty plain and simple. I'm constantly on the lookout for the perfect pair of jeans and white shirt. Still haven't found them, and have too many close seconds.

10. Because of this, I secretly (I guess not now, huh?) want to be ambushed by the hosts of "What Not To Wear." I wouldn't mind the blunt honesty, and push to have some courage, I have to say. Plus, who wouldn't want a free shopping spree on top of having a couple personal shoppers?!

11. I grew up in northeastern Colorado and western Nebraska. I'll tell tales of walking uphill both ways to school, the Oregon Trail, and the many uses of the yucca plant to anyone who asks.

12. When eating warm or toasted bread, it must be pulled out of the toaster ASAP. The butter must spread smoothly, or it's no good. I don't think this is unusual, but apparently my husband thinks this is highly odd. This just seems obvious to me.

13. I'm a follower of Jesus. Disclaimer: These are in no particular order. He is a tad more important to me than my baskets.

14. I enjoy reading and discussing world views/philosophies. My beliefs of the world need to make sense, not just to ease my own concerns, but it needs to adequately explain the bigger picture and address the tough questions of the human condition.

15. Because of #13, I'm always game to join a book group.

16. In light of the this, I wish I were less emotionally attached to my opinions and ideas and more eloquent in talking about them.

17. I'm 33 and STILL am not completely comfortable in my own skin. Learning to accept my personality quirks and physical attributes has been a lifelong struggle. I'm guessing I'm not in the minority.

18. One of my biggest regrets is how I treated my sisters growing up. I love them dearly and wished I had learned way earlier how to process my own fear and insecurity without hurting those around me. I know some of it was typical sibling arguments, but it makes me very sad to think I may have truly and deeply hurt them.

19. I wish I would have practiced the piano more and kept up learning guitar. It's never too late, right?

20. I LOVE puzzles. And board games. I'll make a great old lady. I still want to be running marathons then too....does that make me more interesting?

21. When in the car, I add up numbers on license plates or houses. It's kind of exciting when they add up to 10. Weird, I know. I have no idea why, but have been doing this since I was a little girl. I wish I could at least say my little mental game included more impressive mathematics. But, nope. Just the sum of 10.

22. I like to scrapbook, but all my albums are unfinished. Plus, I try not to broadcast this...don't want to fit too much of the stay at home mom stereotype.

23. My favorite vacation: I usually tell people it was camping down the coast of California, but the truth is it was our week at a Mexican all-inclusive resort. (See #7)

24. Some personal goals: read everyday, reserve time everyday to play with my girls, lose the baby weight plus some, and become debt free.

25. Is a bit embarrassed at how much time I spent on this silly list.

my cute kids

2009-01-22T12:24:00.000-08:00

Laurel in her cute "baby legs"....thanks, Aunt Bobbi!

H all dressed and ready for her first dance lessons. She's excited, can you tell?!

I'm obviously no professional photographer, but here are a few pics of ballet and tap class.

It's about time

2009-01-07T19:07:00.000-08:00

The 3 of you who read my blog are probably tired of looking at the picture of my poor dog. And well, I hear the Obamas need a dog that doesn't shed..so I quickly gave up hope there. And the Corgi rescue organizations are located in California. But if you know of a good home for him, PLEASE let me know.

I'm finally gathering my photos together from the past month. I don't have too many but here are a few of our family and especially our new addition and our most favorite Christmas present: Laurel Susanne.

Laurel Susanne
December 16th, 7:36 am
7 lbs, 18 3/4 in.

First family pic w/ Laurel....she's in my arms, really!

Fall 2008 family pic

Letter to President Elect....please take our dog!

2008-11-07T08:07:00.000-08:00

I've heard Obama promised his girls a puppy after the election, and, even though he's not a puppy, I think Schaeffer would be a great addition to their family. I'm listing some reasons why the Obama family should pick Schaeffer as the First Dog, but please help me by adding to this list.

1. He's potty trained. You don't want to risk any messes on White House property!
2. He's a homebody. They wouldn't have to worry about him exploring and getting lost. He likes the safety of home!
3. His natural good looks. Perfect for photo opps!
4. He comes from the herding group. Corgis, even though they are short and small, know how to be bossy and get people moving....possibly aid in herding the Democrats and Republicans in the same room to work together. Who knows, maybe all they needed is a little bossy push from an unexpecting little furry friend.
5. He needs attention. Poor thing doesn't get much around here, but with the Obama girls and the press, he'd be in heaven!

Now I'm not going to lie, he does have a few setbacks. But depending on your perspective, it could make him more endearing, right?
1. His health. He either has a defective liver or a sensitive stomach. But if you feed him the specific kind of food, he's his happy, bossy self.
2. His tendency to bark. Annoying to some (me, especially), but maybe they'd appreciate knowing when people are approaching. I would imagine their family would want a little privacy and he definitely would inform them of any impending interruptions. Note: But if you give him some space to run off some of that energy, like the Rose Garden for example, it may not be as much of an issue.

Now this may not be the most persuasive, but it's honest...and they've got to appreciate that, right? Anybody have any more reasons I need to add to the list? This pregnant mama needs to reduce the number of living things she has to clean up after.....

2008-11-01T19:06:00.000-07:00

I'm finally getting some photos off my phone and organized, so I thought I'd post some random pics over the last few months.
By the way, this is my 200th post! Actually that's kind of sad considering how many years I've been blogging.....oh well.

For Halloween, we were Care Bears; Love-a-Lot & Good Luck Bear...and of course, Addy the Dalmation!

For H's birthday, she recieved lots of fun costumes! Here's Fancy Nancy and Ariel.

A trip to the zoo with her best friends!

And one of my best friends being silly in Wisconsin. =)

A cute shirt over the 4th of July....obviously...in Oshkosh, Nebraska

An iPhone playdate

Daddy hoarding all the Care Bears for himself.....I have an even funnier picture of this that I'm not allowed to post!

And my accessorized girl. She wanted to wear her scarf just like LoLo! We miss you, Laurie! Eventually this scarf became a belt.

My 4 year old Hannah

2008-10-27T21:01:00.000-07:00

Hannah,
Today you turned 4. A fancy, girly, smart, talkative 4 years old. Although in the midst of so much attention today, no one would know you're very talkative. It's fun to observe you in all kinds of settings...it helps me understand you a bit better. So many times I'm looking at whatever is happening from my perspective, and I need to stop and try to see it from yours.

You had a princess party. Katie and Addison came over, put on fancy clothes for the royal party, danced, made necklaces, and of course ate cake.

Then many, many more friends and family came over for dinner and cake. My favorite picture is when you were waiting to blow out your candle, listening to us sing to you....I think you were giggling and teary at the same time. I'm pretty sure I was too.

I love you, Hannah. I'm so grateful for my beautiful, kind girl.
Mom

Tagged

2008-10-26T21:37:00.000-07:00

My sister tagged me...and it sounded kind of fun. Here's the 6th picture in my 6th album:

This was when Schaeffer got lots of love and attention. And now all he hears is "Schaeffer, kitchen! Now!" I'm far from the best dog owner, but this picture makes me smile. I think I was pregnant with Hannah in this picture....and about 7 months along, like I am now. Lots has changed since then, poor dog.

Would anyone like to take him home and shower him with the attention any dog deserves? I'm not kidding. Please take him.

Okay. Now I'm tagging Vickie & Laurie.

Because a few of you asked.....

2008-10-11T19:44:00.000-07:00

Fancy Nancy and the baby belly

for documentation

2008-09-28T19:10:00.001-07:00

Hannah: I love you so much and want to stay with you forever.

Me: I love you too. Remember this when you're thirteen, okay?

Hannah: Okay.

Swim lessons update

2008-09-25T18:45:00.000-07:00

Bribery.
So far, this has helped. Along with swimming together on family swim night.

Today's prize for bravery: goggles.

Tonight, she screamed, then cried ONLY when she was on the edge. When they took her out to practice the strokes, she quieted right down and did what she was supposed to do. I'm still baffled at why she cried at the easiest part and frankly I'm rather irritated about it. But she DID get in and eventually joined her class. (Last week, another instructor took her by herself. That's one way to get private lessons, I guess!) Baby steps, right?

Next week's goal: no crying AT ALL. The prize? Glow in the dark finger nail polish.

Everything I learned, I learned from swim lessons....

2008-09-11T18:39:00.000-07:00

So I thought it would be a great idea to sign Hannah up for some sort of activity this fall. Our town has so many great resources, it can be a bit overwhelming. But I thought I'd keep it simple. Hannah tends to be cautious and uncomfortable in the water, so I figured swim lessons should be our first choice.

We're only 2 lessons in, and I'm afraid the time is coming when we are asked to not come back. H's first lesson started off okay, but something, still unknown to the teacher and myself, upset her and she was fairly hysterical the remainder of the class. Gratefully, the other kids in the pool continued with their lessons as if a hysterical child was commonplace in such an environment. And I've been reassured by the teachers that it IS common. However, H has been the only one (including the babies) inconsolable thus far.

We have been talking up swim lessons all this week, to no avail. We've prayed for courage. Talked about what it means to have courage. Reassured. Encouraged. Bribed. Invented special sign language to help remind her to take deep breaths, listen, pray, etc. She's been consistent with her dislike for her lessons, but willing to try to be brave.

But.

The poor girl couldn't calm herself down. From the moment she walked into the pool area, she freaked out. I thought by me leaving, that might help. Instead, minutes after my leaving, Hannah was brought to me and I was told she threw up and that they had to evacuate the pool. I was of course, embarrassed. Then ashamed that my concern of other parents' reactions came before my compassion for my terrified little girl.

Here's where I'm stuck. When do I know enough is enough? I want my girl to have attributes like courage, commitment, persistence, hard work....and I know those traits don't come easily. But I also want her to know what it means to give and receive compassion, grace, and mercy. And I have to admit that although I may be more skilled in the former, I'm really weak in modeling the latter. I'm sure there are many of my former students and their parents out there who will vouch for this.

I intended this post to be a rather funny reflection on an embarrassing moment. Don't get me wrong, it still is funny and Hannah will probably grow very tired of hearing it told year after year. But I guess this experience is just one example of one of my biggest challenges in being a parent. And I really don't want to mess it up. I guess I need a little mercy myself.....

Yay for the underdog!

2008-08-21T12:22:00.000-07:00

Early in June after checking our credit report, we discovered there were two medical collections on our report from 2004. It has taken me several weeks to investigate exactly what happened. Turns out when I went to my first prenatal appointment (when I was pregnant with Hannah), the blood work was sent to a lab. This lab apparently did not have any insurance information on me nor a current address. So two months later, they sent it to a collections agency.

The collections agency, our insurance company, and the hospital's lab, medical records, and billing departments all at one point, told us that we'll just have to pay for it. It's been frustrating, to say the least, to explain this long situation EVERY TIME I get on the phone. And customer service apparently doesn't mean that you can speak with your original customer service associate....or that they will actually care to understand the problem. While giving a summary of our situation, I could almost hear, on the other end of the line, their tone change when I used the phrase "collections agency." Immediately they didn't want to deal with it and seemed to assume if I let it get this far, I must be extremely irresponsible.

It was a beautiful day when I picked up my medical records which showed that we did, in fact, provide our current address and health insurance. And to top it off, the DIRECTOR of patient records called ME and APOLOGIZED for THEIR MISTAKE!!! Aaaaaah...it feels so very good to be vindicated!

Supposedly it will still take 3-6 months for these collections to be cleared from our records. But I don't care...it's $1000 that we don't have to pay. I cringe at how close I was to paying it, just to be done with it.

So here's what I've learned about this frustrating experience:
-Check your credit report every year. (I know, I know, I learned this the hard way.)
-Just because "big company" says I "just need to pay for it this time," doesn't necessarily mean they are right. Keep digging and asking questions....even if they don't want to go the extra mile for you. Being a nuisance has paid off.

She must have remembered our prayers last night

2008-08-14T13:02:00.001-07:00

"Hannah, I want you to be a good listener."

"Mommy, I want to give you more patience."

46 months or so

2008-08-07T19:17:00.000-07:00

Hannah,

I started writing letters to you long ago because of a blog I love to read, dooce.com. I don't know her, but her letters to her daughter are an honest and beautiful reflection of specific moments of motherhood. She has inspired me, among countless others I'm sure, to keep a record of this time in my life and yours. But more importantly, this process has helped me reflect on who YOU are and try to understand, really understand you; your fears, insecurities, joys, loves.

This stage in your life reminds me of when, as a little girl, I saw my mom reading a book with the phrase "strong-willed child" on the cover. I not-so-innocently asked her why she was reading it, and she just paused, looked up from her pages, and said, "Why do you THINK I'm reading this?"

This summer has been a move into a difficult and new territory for me. I think I can easily say that up until May or so, you've been a fairly "easy" child. I cognitively understand that you are growing up and trying to establish more independence, but to help you work this out on a day to day basis has been rather trying.

Of course, my own personal agenda for each moment and day, is our main point of tension. Like right now, as I sit with my computer on the patio, you are trying to narrate to me every move you make.

"Look mom. Look. I'm riding my horsey."

"Hey, mom. The baby is riding in the car with me. Look. LOOK."

That word, LOOK, is a loaded word. In fact, it's probably a glimpse into what you really want from me. Don't just glance my way, I want your FULL attention!

And now, out of desperation and because you know it gets me most every time, you've just asked to cuddle with me. And in my hard-hearted way, I say, "In just a minute."

To be fair though, MANY times you've used cuddling and kisses as a distraction from what you know you should be doing. Like SLEEPING, eating, going potty, SLEEPING, picking up toys, SLEEPING.

Well, despite what you think at times, I AM looking and watching. You've been fun to watch. Your little quirks and preferences come out and that just make those around you giggle...which you rarely appreciate....or maybe it's just a lack of understanding.

For instance, we have this morning ritual of reading the comics. I didn't realize how easily you catch on to random vocabulary until I overheard you reading to yourself later that morning,

"And then we'll go drink some margaritas! Won't that be fun?"

You LOVE reading. You'll sit on the couch for a long time, reading book after book after book. Calling it "reading" may be the incorrect term...more like "creative writing." Both your dad and I wonder if, after learning how to read, you'll grow tired of the actual storyline.

You still love clothes, hair, etc. You never miss telling me that you like my hair down whenever you see my ponytail.
One evening, we went to a Ronald McDonald magic show. You really weren't all that impressed with Ronald's string of scarves, or multiplying balls....but throughout the ENTIRE show, you kept whispering in my ear, "What COLOR are his SHOES?! I want to SEE his SHOES!"

It's very clear that you are an extrovert. You don't want to miss anything and in turn, don't want others to miss anything either. It is exhausting at times, but you clearly got that from me, not your father.

As a teacher, I had two dear and wise friends, Sue and Donna who somehow had this ability to get to the heart of the child and his/her behavior. Their influence transformed my heart towards my students and allowed me to especially love those who are at times challenging. I should reconnect with them and ask how I can better do this. I have a feeling they'll simply tell me what I already know: Listen. Slow down. Put YOUR agenda aside.

And if I'm honest, isn't that what I want? What we all want? Someone to take the time to understand, listen, and get to the heart of who I am or what I'm trying to communicate?

I want to understand you like that, Hannah. Being a teacher was just an eight hour job. But you and I are with each other all day, every day. And you want my FULL attention.

I know there is a valuable lesson in teaching you the appropriate time to ask for my full attention, but I don't want to miss the lesson you're trying to teach me. I truly hope, Hannah, as you look back on your childhood, you'll remember me truly looking at you, paying attention, listening. I'm sure you'll also remember times when I've let you down as well. But my hope is that you'll have more memories of the former, not the latter.

I love you,
Mom

20 week sonogram

2008-07-31T14:01:00.000-07:00

Well, today we found out that we're having another girl!
Hannah was thrilled, of course, and I don't think Isaac was all that surprised. He has his own theories...feel free to ask him...as to why there are so many girls on my side of the family. But I'm pretty sure science is on my side....that and I've always pictured Isaac outnumbered, poor guy. But won't he be a great dad to teenage girls?! Boys will and should be very afraid.
But seriously, I thank God everyday for the protective father and husband that Isaac is to us.

Some photos of our little girl:

I think we may have a little thumb sucker.....

Supposedly, the three lines are proof we've got a little girl.

He's gonna kill me, but I can't help myself....

2008-07-09T05:30:00.000-07:00

Well, Hannah and I made the long trek to Oshkosh in one day. I was determined to get it done, and luckily, Hannah cooperated. It was sweet to see Isaac walking to meet us on the stretch of dirt road leading to Grandma and Grandpa's house. Apparently he missed us as much as we missed him. =)

I love coming here. There's something about this place that makes me feel safe, relaxed, loved. My grandparents have always been these things for all of us.

Now we're off to my mom's place, then on to the mountains tomorrow. It will be a bit chaotic, but lots of firsts for Hannah and time with family.

Sidenote:
By the way, if you ever wonder what Isaac does, he was interviewed here.

Counting my blessings

2008-06-30T19:00:00.000-07:00

It's been a rough day, or at least it has felt that way to me. But I need some perspective, so I'm remembering a few things I'm thankful for:

1. The way my friends love Hannah. They are good to Isaac and I as well, but they are so very good to my girl. I know they love her and she loves them right back.
2. My family. I still get sad at how far we all live apart, but I love them and appreciate more and more the ways they have shaped me into the person I now am.
3. My in-laws. I couldn't ask for more love, understanding, and sacrificial support....and I definitely don't deserve it.
4. My neighbors. Quirky (aren't we all?). Very helpful. They've gotten me into my locked house, lengthened the life of our vehicles, mowed our lawn, watched our dog, the list goes on....
5. Money. It never seems as if there's enough. But I still get to stay at home. Thank you, God.
6. Isaac's job and his hard work to do it well and provide for us. That isn't mentioned enough.
7. Modern conveniences. Many things may have broken down in the last several days, but I HAVE them, and don't necessarily NEED them.
8. Twizzlers pull-n-peel. Petty, yes, but very delicious.
9. The plethora of parks in our town. Vickie came over (see #1) so I could get out for a bit by myself...and I just sat in the sun at one of our beautiful parks.
10. Puzzles-what I brought with me for #9.....I love the way it relaxes me, yet exercises my brain at the same time.
11. Our dining table and patio. Nothing spectacular, but the conversations that have taken place have been good, challenging, enlightening, entertaining, and memorable.
12. Tonight's opportunity to ask Hannah for forgiveness. I've been very impatient with her and it's not all her fault. It's a reminder of my shortcomings and need for Jesus.

A must see

2008-06-30T09:15:00.000-07:00

Hannah and I spent a couple hours at the pool with LoLo on Saturday. And we've discovered that H is quite the dancer and entertainer. LoLo posted it on her blog here. A bonus if you can identify what song she is dancing to. =)

2008-06-23T20:51:00.000-07:00

I haven't tackled the first floor windows yet, but I was hosting my book group, so suddenly I felt the drive to clean, clean, clean!
Here's my list of accomplishments for the day:
-read a chapter of our book
-read the comics with Hannah
-swept and mopped the entire house
-dusted & straightened (with Hannah's help)
-2 loads of laundry
-made peanut butter scotchies for the book group
-washed, dried, and put away the dishes
-mowed the lawn
-watered the garden and plants
-swept the patio
-showered
-bathed Hannah
-scheduled the refrigerator repairman
-quick trip to Walmart-quick and Walmart usually don't go together, but today must have been my day!
-filled gas tank-even went inside to get my favorite Polar Pop
-and STILL managed to complete 85% of my daily puzzles!! (gotta keep my priorities straight)

I do realize that this list is nothing to some of you overachievers. But at times, I guess it just takes the knowledge that people will be coming over to see my mess to move me to do something about it.
I'm pooped.
Good night, Internet.

2008-06-22T19:07:00.000-07:00

Isaac is gone for two weeks to "write a small book so he can get a floppy hat." Or to finish his thesis...however you want to look at it. He's promised to post his progress daily on his blog.

Since he's been working non-stop....the basement while he was home, and now deep into his books....I feel like I need to pick up the pace around here while he's gone. So today, I started washing the windows. Turns out I don't fully know what I'm doing, but I still managed wash all the 2nd floor exterior windows. It was a very good thing Vickie stopped by or I would have flooded the house. So now onto the first floor tomorrow....

Playing Tag

2008-06-19T10:46:00.000-07:00

Laurie tagged me, and this gives me something to post, so here goes:

My Joys:
*Hannah
*Anticipating baby #2
*Spending quality time with people I love.

My Fears:
*Money. Yuck. Still trying to be a better manager of it.
*Wasting my life on petty, temporary goals.
*Being too much of a know-it-all that I push people away.

My Goals:
*Accept myself as God does.
*Love and care for my family and friends.
*Running another marathon....Chicago 2009.

My Current Obsessions/Collections:
*'Crosswords, sudoku, and cryptoquip....no big surprise to anyone, I'm sure.
*Waffles. Not very healthy, the the waffle iron is rather dangerous, but oh the heavenly breakfasts I'm having!!!
(update: I sadly had to throw it away. Supposedly it's a fire hazard when the plug is VERY warm to the touch and the entire appliance exudes a burning rubber smell....)
*My coupon collection....I know, no surprise here either.

Random Surprising Facts About Me:
*My blood type is B negative.....I know, shocking, huh?
*I really, really dislike seafood.
*I don't know....I'm probably more of an open book than I care to admit.

Alright...now it's my turn to tag 4 people:

1. my sisters
2. my childhood friend Jen, from Iowa.....I think you might read this periodically. =)
3. Babs (Sorry, Vickie. I stole a tag from you!)
4. Steph

Emma Kay Forman

2008-06-09T06:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, we spent a good chunk of the day waiting for her arrival.....and here she is!
7 lbs. 12oz. 19.5 inches long. lots of dark hair!
Congratulations, Chris and Gretchen!

The new parents....

Uncle Isaac delivering food.....

Her first bath...

Her daddy admiring her soft hair.

11 weeks

2008-06-07T12:02:00.000-07:00

Dear baby,
This week was technically our first meeting and I was so very excited and relieved to see your heartbeat. I will continue to pray that you will grow to become a healthy little one.

You have a big sister who, for a few months now, has been praying you would come....and is honing her teaching skills. I'm pretty sure she feels the urgency to learn everything there is to learn. "Why?" and "How come?" are her favorite and most often asked questions.

Your daddy is also preparing for your arrival. As I write this, he is finishing our basement...so you and your sister have a space to play and that we can have room for your nursery. So far, I'm just trying to feed you the right things....and trying to stay away from the wrong ones...which is harder than I'd like.

There will be many more people to introduce you to and and even more things to tell you. But for now, I just want you to know you are loved and we cannot wait to meet you.

Love,
your mama

Just call me fashionista

2008-06-02T08:52:00.000-07:00

I'm not much of a trend setter. In fact, once I find a shirt I like, I usually just buy that same shirt in several colors. I usually start liking whatever the "new" thing months or even years after it's been around.

Over the past year, I've dreadfully noticed how the 80's styles are coming back. But I've recently discovered how much I loved a specific style of shirt. It reminds me of my favorite outfit in junior high. I LOVED this burgundy and black striped shirt with black leggings I bought at Maurices. I think I also had a green and navy striped one as well....Paris Sport Club. Do you remember it? Designed for daring teenage girls like me.

So here's the official shirt of the summer for me....I already have one in grey and black. I know, so very adventurous of me. But I even bought leggings! Now I just have to muster up the nerve to wear them.

2008-04-28T10:50:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you are being pursued, but you can't move because it feels as if your feet are cemented to the ground? Or the dream where you somehow forget to get dressed before you head off to school, then the rest of the dream is spent desperately and futilely trying to get some sort of clothing on?

Well, these last several days have felt a little like that. It recently dawned on me that I never printed Laurie's newsletters, just emailed them....that was on April 8th! April 8th!

So I went to print and the old printer is discontinued and my computer no longer has a driver for it. So I find the driver online....and still doesn't work. Isaac says he'll have to get a CD from work. I can't wait that long, so I grab our other printer.
Out of ink. Of course. I go to refill the cartridge, take it home, still doesn't work. After 3 more trips, I am able to print 9 newsletters. Out of 108.

So this morning, I drive to Walmart and purchase new cartridges. Should have bought 2 sets. You'd think I have learned.

So far, I have about 40 completed (along with an additional apology/take responsibility for the tardiness schpeel) which my computer has printed at an agonizingly slow pace (I need more ram or something, Isaac says).

Okay, so it may not be as bad as public nudity, but this newsletter, of ALL newsletters is time sensitive. AARRGH!!!
What was I thinking?! I guess it doesn't matter at this point, but I'm looking forward to this heightened heart rate and sense of panic to subside.

the Sauder girls & kids

2008-04-14T15:37:00.000-07:00

Hannah and I had a really nice time in Omaha catching up with my sisters and being amazed at how much the babies have grown. Here are a few pictures from the weekend:
(This has been sitting in my unpublished posts, waiting for me to add comments, but it's taken too long already. So feel free to suggest the appropriate captions.)

2008-04-09T05:02:00.001-07:00

I saw a fox on the trail this morning.....a FOX!!

Update in pictures

2008-04-07T13:36:00.000-07:00

Lots of activity here the last few weeks, but I just can't seem to muster up the energy to write about it. So here are some pictures:

For my birthday, my thoughtful husband and great friends planned "The Amazing Birthday Race." My apologies for my lack of pictures here. We were divided into teams, and sent on various missions....one was to eat a cheeseburger next to Abe Lincoln on the bench...Ryan actually bought a double cheeseburger since it was cheaper....but not as fast to eat.

They also made a crossword puzzle all about me (I felt a bit narcissistic...and by the way, I do NOT snort when I laugh),

Played sudoku with sidewalk chalk and a driveway, and took pictures with strangers doing various things. Our team found the PERFECT group of strangers: junior high girls!! (I wish I had the pictures to prove it!)

Vickie's birthday followed, so I made her a cake...

Followed by the anticpated Fondue Friday! Other than making WAY too much, it was very yummy. And I can't wait to try some more recipes! If it weren't for Chris, I wouldn't even have this picture. So thanks, Chris!

This past weekend, Hannah accomplished a few firsts....
using scissors....(She caught on rather quickly!)

...and planting a garden. This is a first for me as well!

Here are just a couple cute pictures taken this past week.

In the next few days, I'll be in Omaha catching up with my sisters and holding my niece and nephew. So more pictures to come!

My twin?

2008-04-04T10:15:00.001-07:00

Another one to add to my pile

2008-04-03T07:51:00.000-07:00

I have a few other books to finish before I start anything else, but Ben Witherington gives a persuasive review of The Year of Living Biblically.

If you have time, check it out and let me know what you think!

100 Things to do before I go...

2008-03-27T07:27:00.000-07:00

Okay...so 100 is a bit much, but my mom raised me to finish what I start, so here goes:

76. Finish other things I've started. =)
77. Celebrate my 70th wedding anniversary.
78. Spoil my grandkids.
79. Adopt or help someone adopt.
80. Explaining the Lenten and Easter season to Hannah.
81. Strengthen my patience.
82. Relish conversations with girlfriends.
83. Know the names of everyone living on my street.
84. Go mountain climbing.
85. Visit with my sisters while our kids play.
86. Buy a cabin in the mountains....big enough to share.
87. Learn how to bake chewy, chocolate chip cookies.
88. Bring baby Gaff #2 home (no, not an annoucement!).
89. Plant a garden with Hannah.
90. Go back to Mexico with Isaac.
91. Take at least one ESL class this fall.
92. Make homemade pasta.
93. Laugh, the side-hurting kind, almost everyday.
94. Make Hannah and Isaac laugh like this on a regular basis.
95. Read the comics with Hannah every morning.
96. Use our car less and the trail more.
97. Kiss the Blarney Stone.
98. Take advantage of the free concerts & events in town.
99. Find more ways to ease Isaac's load...and do it joyfully.
100. Start each morning thankfully and prayerfully.

What we've been up to...

2008-03-26T05:38:00.000-07:00

While I'm trying to come up with my last 25 "100 things..." (much harder than I thought it would be), here are some photos of the last week or so.
Palm Sunday, we were in Indiana visiting the Gaff family. Here's Uncle Nick dressing up as Tinkerbell.

After the whole Tinkerbell episode, she warmed right up to him. Who wouldn't? =)

Decorating Easter eggs...

A big Easter egg hunt on a cold, cold morning....

It was fun after all!!

Empty eggs?!

Easter Sunday...
Daddy and his girl

Hannah and Grandma and their puzzles

Another hunt at Vickie's house with H's new friend/superhero, Ben

2008-03-26T05:31:00.000-07:00

I took this about 2 weeks ago.
I knew it was going to be a good day when the paper accidentally printed THREE of these:

theodicy

2008-03-22T06:14:00.000-07:00

I keep hearing about the release of a new book, God's Problem, by Bart D. Ehrman. He's been interviewed on NPR, and since it's the Easter season, many people have been discussing it. From my limited understanding, the author questions an existence of God because of the presence of suffering in the world.

I read Ben Witherington's blog and I like what he says concerning this issue:

"In one sense of course, Bart Ehrman's views are understandable. If you are raised to believe that a good sovereign God before the beginning of time pre-determined all things that have happen in this world, then indeed you have a severe problem of logic when it comes to both sin and suffering, both misery and mayhem. But in fact the God of fatalism with all things predetermined is not the God of the Bible. That is the God of Islam, but not Christianity at its best.

The Bible teaches that most of human suffering is of our own making, not predestined by God. There is this little doctrine called the Fall, and also the matter of humans being created with wills of their own. Both the Fall and at least the power of contrary choice in fallen persons more than adequately explains most of the wickedness we see in the world--- it is, as Tennyson used to say 'a case of man's inhumanity to man'."

This is such a crucial topic...one that Christians need to carefully think about, study, and discuss. I think I might add this book to my list of must-reads. Anyone want to start a book group?

100 Things to do before I go...

2008-03-12T14:03:00.000-07:00

Okay the handful of you who are kind enough to read this.....I need some ideas!!!
If 100 is too much, go for 10.
Pretty please?!

51. Reduce our need for "storage"...simplify.
52. Go whitewater rafting again.
53. Help pay for a student's college tuition...and Hannah's, of course.
54. Go to Haiti with my parents.
55. Take a similar trip with Isaac and Hannah.
56. Go for coffee with Isaac on a regular basis.
57. File our taxes without professional help.
58. Learn how to change a tire (yeah, I don't know how...).
59. Learn how to play Bridge....fits with my love for crosswords.
60. Explore Washington D.C.
61. Travel to the old & new 7 wonders of the world.
62. Take one of Dr. Castelein's & Dr. Lowery's courses.
63. Spot a moose at Yellowstone.
64. Go to a Broadway show.
65. Visit every continent (or all but Antarctica).
66. Be a more informed voter.
67. Laugh and talk with friends on our patio late into the night.
68. Study more about planets, stars and galaxies.
69. Gaze at the stars on summer nights.
70. Enjoy and honor my family's accomplishments more than my own.
71. Audition for a community theatre or choir.
72. Regularly seek God's approval over the approval of others.
73. Be teachable.
74. Speak out of kindness and love.
75. Eat ice cream.....guilt free.

100 things to do before I go...

2008-03-10T13:19:00.000-07:00

This is more difficult than I thought. Please post yours.....I need more ideas!!

26. Invent and patent something
27. Teach Hannah how to ride a bike.
28. Hike the Grand Canyon.
29. Expand my cooking repertoire.
30. Go on a 2 week vacation without computers.
31. Read everything written by C.S. Lewis.
32. Complete a Wil Shortz crossword without help.
33. Host a block party.
34. Write a children's book.
35. Take Hannah to Chicago via Amtrak.
36. Speak basic Spanish.
37. Work for Habitat for Humanity.
38. Establish a way to volunteer monthly as a family.
39. Get this dang basement finished.
40. Improve my piano skills.
41. Take violin lessons.
42. Take art classes.
43. Establish Fondue Fridays.
44. And Waffle Wednesdays.
45. Write thank you notes to my teachers.
46. Start a neighborhood book group.
47. Put some of my dad's lyrics to music.
48. Be less selfish about my time.
49. Listen to others better.
50. Overcome my fear of needles and give blood.

Evidence that she is a reflection of what she sees....

2008-03-07T06:26:00.000-08:00

"I'm not very happy of you." (followed by an exasperated sigh)

"I will in a minute"

"Ah, he's being sweet."

"You need to go to your room and get dressed."

"You know what the Bible says? It's my turn first." (She got this one mixed up....just to clarify.)

"Mommy, I like you just the way you are."

"What you said?...What she said?"

100 things to do before I go

2008-03-07T05:51:00.000-08:00

One particular blog I subscribe to, made a list of things she'd like to experience/accomplish in this lifetime. I enjoyed her list, but felt a bit leery to make my own for various reasons. One is that sometimes these lists can shift my focus onto things that won't last...until she convinced me it was worthwhile by challenging us to ponder these questions:

-What would surprise me if I found out I hadn’t done it by the time I died?
-What are the little things I expect to just unroll in front of me?
-What are the big, amazing things that absolutely wouldn’t happen without some heads-down, teeth-clenched work?
-What things have I been concentrating on that don’t really matter?

So I'm going to give it a try and post 25 at a time. If you feel so inclined, I'd love to hear your ideas and read your list!

1. Learn how to swim.
2. Write a song.
3. Run the New York City Marathon.
4. Ability to and continue to run.
5. Read everything by Henri Nouwen.
6. Start a business....maybe cake decorating??
7. Pray more and more.
8. Be comfortable in my own skin...body, personality, etc.
9. Hike Pikes Peak and Longs Peak.
10. Listen to Hannah read her first book and write her first sentence.
11. Buy Isaac a bass guitar and a piano.
12. Attend Isaac's graduation next June.
13. Finish my masters degree.
14. Always have time to make a meal, visit, serve, and encourage others.
15. Be willing to let others do the same for me.
16. Pay off our debt, mortgage and all, early.
17. Enjoy long conversations with Hannah, as an adult.
18. Enjoy long conversations with Hannah, right now. =)
19. Go camping, the rugged kind, and enjoy it.
20. Backpack Europe.
21. Explore Hawaii.
22. Take Tae Kwon Do lessons.
23. Recycle more and find ways to waste less.
24. Grow an herb garden.
25. Establish meaningful family traditions following the church calendar.

a day of firsts

2008-03-03T08:53:00.000-08:00

This morning's events have made me realize I do way too much for Hannah. I think she's been capable of doing these for awhile, but in my hurry to move things along, I take charge. So today marks the beginning of some new responsibilities, er, opportunities...yeah, that's how I'll set it up.....for Hannah.

She made her bed and dressed herself from head to toe.

She completed this puzzle.

Things I'm thankful for today:

2008-02-21T09:08:00.000-08:00

-Hannah's many, many questions
-a warm house
-smell of baking banana bread
-the Internet
-Henry J.M. Nouwen
-a praying husband
-conversations
-lotion & chapstick
-the Lenten season
-my bread machine
-the dining room window
-an unexpected chat with Laurie
-my treadmill
-shelves
-the fact that we need shelves
-buds on branches poking through the snow
-more and more daylight
-naptime

yet another reason to buy her album....

2008-02-19T06:39:00.000-08:00

You will lose your baby teeth
At times you'll lose your faith in me
You will lose a lot of things
But you cannot lose my love

You may lose your appetite
Your guiding sense of wrong and right
You may lose your will to fight
But you cannot lose my love

You will lose your confidence
In times of trial your common sense
You may lose your innocence
But you cannot lose my love

Many things can be misplaced
Your very memories be erased
No matter what the time or space
You cannot lose my love

-Sara Groves

40 months...or so

2008-02-18T05:35:00.000-08:00

Hannah,
In church yesterday, I saw a glimpse into the heart of a parent whose child is now an adult. During part of the service, the son made a public confession of faith and declaration of what God means to him, then his father proudly baptized his son. During the song that followed, he returned to his seat where his mother, wife, and son were waiting for him. His mother, especially, couldn't hold back the tears and as we all sang, she wept silently.

Later on during the service, we were asked to pray for loved ones, friends, neighbors who haven't experienced God's forgiveness and new perspective on life. A different mother, sitting in the same vicinity, went up and also wept silently. Her son, now an adult, doesn't yet know his need for God.

A few days ago, I was reading a book on parenting. And it reminded me that the older you get, the less control I have. There are certain decisions you will need to make on your own. And the decision I so desperately want you to make, alongside these two other mothers, can only be made by you.

Our church has been recently challenging us to reflect on why we are Christians. It's so difficult to articulate why I decided to be a follower of Christ....it's been a journey of questioning, studying, and living. I've had to find answers to my many doubts. I've watched other people work out, or continue to struggle with theirs. All those things have been a very important part of my journey. But the most important reason why I'm a Christian is because of God's love. We humans, have really made a mess of this world. So much pain, suffering. We have misplaced desires and passions. But we have a God who wants real communion with us...and has given us the freedom to decide whether or not we want to walk with Him (would it be genuine communion if it was forced?).

I love you so much, Hannah. And at times, I get overwhelmed with the thought of ever losing you. So I understand the rejoicing one mother experienced yesterday, knowing she'll be with her son in eternity....and the sadness of another who doesn't know if she'll experience that same joy.

I hope you'll be able to get a taste of God's love for you through the way your dad and I love you. I know that you, of all people, will realize that we aren't perfect and need wisdom that is not our own, but I pray that you will see the power of forgiveness and redemption in the way we love you, one another, and the people around us. We will fail many times, but God will never fail you.

There's a song, that I'll probably post later, that keeps surfacing during quiet times or times of prayer. It reminds me that life is and will be full of losses....but one thing you can never lose is my love. When you came into the world, my heart expanded....I never knew I could love in a way that I love you. This love has given me a glimpse of how pervasive and passionate God's love must be. At this point in my journey, this is the primary reason I'm a Christian.

Thankful for you in so many ways,
Mom

Who does this?!

2008-02-15T10:33:00.000-08:00

Warning: Vickie, you may not like this video.

Should I be stopping this behavior? Am I sick for thinking this is really funny? You can be honest, I can take it.
Note: I think she got this by watching our dog....he gets "sick" every now and then. At least she cleans up after herself in a more civil way than he does. =)

Would you buy one of these?

2008-02-14T14:02:00.001-08:00

I made these for some friends this week. One of them offered to sell them for me at her eating establishment, so I took her up on it. After spending so much time on them, I now understand why some stores sell them for about $7. I'm just hoping they'll sell for a buck a piece. I have a long way to go in the decorating/detail department, but it was fun.

My demographic is in there somewhere

2008-01-31T08:54:00.001-08:00

As many of you know, I'm rather fond of the crossword puzzle. Most days, I try to complete the printed version our lovely newspaper publishes. Every now and then, I'll go to the crosswords on Pantagraph.com as well. Gently inferring that I'm preparing myself for dentures and Depends, Isaac challenged me to keep a log of ads displayed on the daily puzzle.

So, fine. I'll do it. I'll admit it. I am who I am, right?
Local companies that help support my habit:

Puzzle #1 (This is just day 1, people! Give it time!)
Mennonite Retirement Community
Fourwinds RV
Westminster Village
Central Illinois Properties

Puzzle #2 (This is more like it)
Galaxy 14 Cinema
Chesterbrook Academy Preschool
InHomeTrainer.com
Rental authority

#3
Uftring Motors
USA Ballet Company
Westminster Village

#4
Sam Leman motors
Westminster Village
InHomeTrainer.com
nowhiring.com

#5
Prudential real estate
Westminster Village
American Family Insurance
Central Illinois Properties

I submit the evidence. You be the judge.

Because toddlers & college kids are not much different

2008-01-28T08:04:00.000-08:00

Recently, I received an email from one of my good college friends.

Earlier that day, she heard some strange sounds coming from the room her girls were playing. She would hear some grunts, some sort of crash, then a fit of laughter. When she walked in, each daughter, on opposite sides of the room and holding a large stuffed animal, ran and leapt towards each other, then falling into a pile on the ground.

After describing the uncontrollable laughter, she asked me if this brought back any memories.

It did.
And here's the evidence:

found....much too late

2008-01-24T14:01:00.000-08:00

Some people have a true gift of telling a story and creating a magical, memorable moment. I have come to learn the hard way, that I am not one of these people.

Some of my most embarrassing moments are when I'm trying way too hard to be funny (and there have been too many to count).
I cringe whenever these memories come flooding back. Today this happened when I stumbled upon advice, years too late.

One of these moments was when one of my dear sisters asked me to give a toast at her wedding. Let's just say, Bambi, I'm still so very sorry. Luckily, Bobbi, my youngest, more eloquent sister, chimed in and saved the day. And thankfully, Bambi has and continues to be very gracious.

Here are a few things I need to persistently remind myself of:
-If you are consciously trying to be funny, just stop. PLEASE just stop.
-Sometimes moments cannot relived by retelling them...especially if the audience wasn't there.
-The glazed-over look in peoples' eyes IS your first clue that you need to wrap it up....quickly.
-It will happen again. This is just what you do. So at least get a good laugh out of it.

I think I found my theme song.....

2008-01-24T13:24:00.000-08:00

I've never claimed to be an expert on what's good, but lately I've been listening to albums I've had a long time.
And right now, I LOVE the album "All Right Here" by Sara Groves. The whole album has spoken volumes to me lately and I'll probably post more later since I've been at a loss of what else to put here lately.

But this is definitely my theme song...at least right now. =)
The lyrics are good in and of themselves, but they don't do the song justice.....so go to iTunes RIGHT NOW and buy the album!

I am long on staying
I am slow to leave
Especially when it comes to you my friend
You have taught me to slow down
And to prop up my feet
It's the fine art of being who I am
And I can't figure out
Why you want me around
I'm not the smartest person I have ever met
But somehow that doesn't matter
No it never really mattered to you at all

And at the risk or wearing out my welcome
At the risk of self-discovery
I'll take every moment and every minute that you'll give me

And I can think of time when families all lived together
Four generations in one house
And the table was full of good food
And friends and neighbors
That's not how we like it now
Cause if you sit at home you're a loser
Couldn't you find anything better to do
Well no I couldn't think of one thing
I would rather waste my time on than sitting here with you

And at the risk of wearing out my welcome
At the risk of self-discovery
I'll take every moment and every minute that you'll give me

And I wish all the people I love the most
Could gather in one place
And know each other and love each other well
And I wish we could all go camping
And lay beneath the stars
And have nothing to do and stories to tell
We'd sit around the campfire
And we'd make each other laugh remembering when
You're the first one I'm inviting
Always know that you're invited my friend

cute video tip

2007-11-27T07:16:00.000-08:00

If you want a good laugh today, go to Laurie's (LoLo) blog...I've got her as one of my links to the right.
Hannah and Laurie spent a long time messing with iMovie and photobooth yesterday. Very funny to watch.
Enjoy!

What Hannah refers to as "floffing"

2007-11-23T18:20:00.000-08:00

Turkey Trotters

2007-11-22T08:22:00.000-08:00

Most of you know this about me, but I LOVE races....especially one that is free and on a holiday!
This 3 miles seemed longer than most. Not sure why, maybe the hills or the seeming loops over and over, but it was still fun....and I'm just thankful that my legs still let me run...AND that I have a friend that loves to join me. Thanks, Vickie. =)

purging

2007-11-19T14:21:00.000-08:00

I showed great restraint yesterday shopping with Vickie at Macy's.
I've been wanting a shiny, red pair of flats....just because. No real need for them, but red shoes just sound like fun, right?
Well, I FOUND them! Not only that, they were on SALE! A GOOD sale!

Then I remembered how often I ask Isaac to refrain from spending....how could I justify even spending $20 on something that is far from a need? I just couldn't do it.

Now today, I've been knee-deep in purging all of our stuff and finding new ways to organize. I have to admit, I really enjoy doing this type of thing....but I've also realized how much stuff/junk we really have....and need to give away or throw out.

So instead, for Christmas, all I'll be asking for this year are gift cards to Lowe's so we can make best use of our space....all to appreciate the stuff we already have.

But I still would really like those pair of shoes. Maybe by this Friday, the price will be slashed even more!
One can only hope. =)

Fine, if you won't let me sit with YOU, then....

2007-11-17T07:15:00.000-08:00