a day of firsts

This morning's events have made me realize I do way too much for Hannah. I think she's been capable of doing these for awhile, but in my hurry to move things along, I take charge. So today marks the beginning of some new responsibilities, er, opportunities...yeah, that's how I'll set it up.....for Hannah.

She made her bed and dressed herself from head to toe.


She completed this puzzle.

Things I'm thankful for today:

-Hannah's many, many questions
-a warm house
-smell of baking banana bread
-the Internet
-Henry J.M. Nouwen
-a praying husband
-conversations
-lotion & chapstick
-the Lenten season
-my bread machine
-the dining room window
-an unexpected chat with Laurie
-my treadmill
-shelves
-the fact that we need shelves
-buds on branches poking through the snow
-more and more daylight
-naptime

yet another reason to buy her album....

You will lose your baby teeth
At times you'll lose your faith in me
You will lose a lot of things
But you cannot lose my love

You may lose your appetite
Your guiding sense of wrong and right
You may lose your will to fight
But you cannot lose my love

You will lose your confidence
In times of trial your common sense
You may lose your innocence
But you cannot lose my love

Many things can be misplaced
Your very memories be erased
No matter what the time or space
You cannot lose my love

-Sara Groves

40 months...or so

Hannah,
In church yesterday, I saw a glimpse into the heart of a parent whose child is now an adult. During part of the service, the son made a public confession of faith and declaration of what God means to him, then his father proudly baptized his son. During the song that followed, he returned to his seat where his mother, wife, and son were waiting for him. His mother, especially, couldn't hold back the tears and as we all sang, she wept silently.

Later on during the service, we were asked to pray for loved ones, friends, neighbors who haven't experienced God's forgiveness and new perspective on life. A different mother, sitting in the same vicinity, went up and also wept silently. Her son, now an adult, doesn't yet know his need for God.

A few days ago, I was reading a book on parenting. And it reminded me that the older you get, the less control I have. There are certain decisions you will need to make on your own. And the decision I so desperately want you to make, alongside these two other mothers, can only be made by you.

Our church has been recently challenging us to reflect on why we are Christians. It's so difficult to articulate why I decided to be a follower of Christ....it's been a journey of questioning, studying, and living. I've had to find answers to my many doubts. I've watched other people work out, or continue to struggle with theirs. All those things have been a very important part of my journey. But the most important reason why I'm a Christian is because of God's love. We humans, have really made a mess of this world. So much pain, suffering. We have misplaced desires and passions. But we have a God who wants real communion with us...and has given us the freedom to decide whether or not we want to walk with Him (would it be genuine communion if it was forced?).

I love you so much, Hannah. And at times, I get overwhelmed with the thought of ever losing you. So I understand the rejoicing one mother experienced yesterday, knowing she'll be with her son in eternity....and the sadness of another who doesn't know if she'll experience that same joy.

I hope you'll be able to get a taste of God's love for you through the way your dad and I love you. I know that you, of all people, will realize that we aren't perfect and need wisdom that is not our own, but I pray that you will see the power of forgiveness and redemption in the way we love you, one another, and the people around us. We will fail many times, but God will never fail you.

There's a song, that I'll probably post later, that keeps surfacing during quiet times or times of prayer. It reminds me that life is and will be full of losses....but one thing you can never lose is my love. When you came into the world, my heart expanded....I never knew I could love in a way that I love you. This love has given me a glimpse of how pervasive and passionate God's love must be. At this point in my journey, this is the primary reason I'm a Christian.

Thankful for you in so many ways,
Mom

Who does this?!

Warning: Vickie, you may not like this video.

Should I be stopping this behavior? Am I sick for thinking this is really funny? You can be honest, I can take it.
Note: I think she got this by watching our dog....he gets "sick" every now and then. At least she cleans up after herself in a more civil way than he does. =)

Would you buy one of these?

I made these for some friends this week. One of them offered to sell them for me at her eating establishment, so I took her up on it. After spending so much time on them, I now understand why some stores sell them for about $7. I'm just hoping they'll sell for a buck a piece. I have a long way to go in the decorating/detail department, but it was fun.

My demographic is in there somewhere

As many of you know, I'm rather fond of the crossword puzzle. Most days, I try to complete the printed version our lovely newspaper publishes. Every now and then, I'll go to the crosswords on Pantagraph.com as well. Gently inferring that I'm preparing myself for dentures and Depends, Isaac challenged me to keep a log of ads displayed on the daily puzzle.

So, fine. I'll do it. I'll admit it. I am who I am, right?
Local companies that help support my habit:

Puzzle #1 (This is just day 1, people! Give it time!)
Mennonite Retirement Community
Fourwinds RV
Westminster Village
Central Illinois Properties

Puzzle #2 (This is more like it)
Galaxy 14 Cinema
Chesterbrook Academy Preschool
InHomeTrainer.com
Rental authority

#3
Uftring Motors
USA Ballet Company
Westminster Village

#4
Sam Leman motors
Westminster Village
InHomeTrainer.com
nowhiring.com

#5
Prudential real estate
Westminster Village
American Family Insurance
Central Illinois Properties

I submit the evidence. You be the judge.

Because toddlers & college kids are not much different

Recently, I received an email from one of my good college friends.

Earlier that day, she heard some strange sounds coming from the room her girls were playing. She would hear some grunts, some sort of crash, then a fit of laughter. When she walked in, each daughter, on opposite sides of the room and holding a large stuffed animal, ran and leapt towards each other, then falling into a pile on the ground.

After describing the uncontrollable laughter, she asked me if this brought back any memories.

It did.
And here's the evidence:

found....much too late

Some people have a true gift of telling a story and creating a magical, memorable moment. I have come to learn the hard way, that I am not one of these people.

Some of my most embarrassing moments are when I'm trying way too hard to be funny (and there have been too many to count).
I cringe whenever these memories come flooding back. Today this happened when I stumbled upon advice, years too late.

One of these moments was when one of my dear sisters asked me to give a toast at her wedding. Let's just say, Bambi, I'm still so very sorry. Luckily, Bobbi, my youngest, more eloquent sister, chimed in and saved the day. And thankfully, Bambi has and continues to be very gracious.

Here are a few things I need to persistently remind myself of:
-If you are consciously trying to be funny, just stop. PLEASE just stop.
-Sometimes moments cannot relived by retelling them...especially if the audience wasn't there.
-The glazed-over look in peoples' eyes IS your first clue that you need to wrap it up....quickly.
-It will happen again. This is just what you do. So at least get a good laugh out of it.

I think I found my theme song.....

I've never claimed to be an expert on what's good, but lately I've been listening to albums I've had a long time.
And right now, I LOVE the album "All Right Here" by Sara Groves. The whole album has spoken volumes to me lately and I'll probably post more later since I've been at a loss of what else to put here lately.

But this is definitely my theme song...at least right now. =)
The lyrics are good in and of themselves, but they don't do the song justice.....so go to iTunes RIGHT NOW and buy the album!

I am long on staying
I am slow to leave
Especially when it comes to you my friend
You have taught me to slow down
And to prop up my feet
It's the fine art of being who I am
And I can't figure out
Why you want me around
I'm not the smartest person I have ever met
But somehow that doesn't matter
No it never really mattered to you at all

And at the risk or wearing out my welcome
At the risk of self-discovery
I'll take every moment and every minute that you'll give me

And I can think of time when families all lived together
Four generations in one house
And the table was full of good food
And friends and neighbors
That's not how we like it now
Cause if you sit at home you're a loser
Couldn't you find anything better to do
Well no I couldn't think of one thing
I would rather waste my time on than sitting here with you

And at the risk of wearing out my welcome
At the risk of self-discovery
I'll take every moment and every minute that you'll give me

And I wish all the people I love the most
Could gather in one place
And know each other and love each other well
And I wish we could all go camping
And lay beneath the stars
And have nothing to do and stories to tell
We'd sit around the campfire
And we'd make each other laugh remembering when
You're the first one I'm inviting
Always know that you're invited my friend

cute video tip

If you want a good laugh today, go to Laurie's (LoLo) blog...I've got her as one of my links to the right.
Hannah and Laurie spent a long time messing with iMovie and photobooth yesterday. Very funny to watch.
Enjoy!

What Hannah refers to as "floffing"

Turkey Trotters

Most of you know this about me, but I LOVE races....especially one that is free and on a holiday!
This 3 miles seemed longer than most. Not sure why, maybe the hills or the seeming loops over and over, but it was still fun....and I'm just thankful that my legs still let me run...AND that I have a friend that loves to join me. Thanks, Vickie. =)

purging

I showed great restraint yesterday shopping with Vickie at Macy's.
I've been wanting a shiny, red pair of flats....just because. No real need for them, but red shoes just sound like fun, right?
Well, I FOUND them! Not only that, they were on SALE! A GOOD sale!

Then I remembered how often I ask Isaac to refrain from spending....how could I justify even spending $20 on something that is far from a need? I just couldn't do it.

Now today, I've been knee-deep in purging all of our stuff and finding new ways to organize. I have to admit, I really enjoy doing this type of thing....but I've also realized how much stuff/junk we really have....and need to give away or throw out.

So instead, for Christmas, all I'll be asking for this year are gift cards to Lowe's so we can make best use of our space....all to appreciate the stuff we already have.

But I still would really like those pair of shoes. Maybe by this Friday, the price will be slashed even more!
One can only hope. =)

Fine, if you won't let me sit with YOU, then....

preview....

As I mentioned earlier, Scott took our pictures last weekend. I asked for lots of candids...so I can't wait to see the rest!

not for the squeamish...

I'm so grateful Hannah has always been a good sleeper, so last night was one of the few nights she was up most of the night...with the flu. Isaac was on clean-up-duty (poor guy) and I was on hold-her-hair-back-while-she-vomits-duty. I'll spare you the details except to say I'll never really enjoy the smell of Kraft macaroni & cheese again.

On another note, we had our annual family photos on Saturday and Hannah was working the camera! Very funny...and I can't wait to see all the shots. Our good friend, Scott, is an excellent photographer and it also didn't hurt that Hannah loves him, so she was very cooperative! I'll post a few pics when we get them back.

A discussion we need to be having....

Go to this link.
Keep up with the comments, they're bound to bring up good discussion.
I may be a bit intimidated to comment myself, but this subject is a very important topic for the church community.

Just my two cents.

Birthday Girl

Hannah,
Well, it's the day after your 3rd birthday. You've had a bit of a cold, and I think I'm catching it as well, so we're having a lazy morning....sitting in the living room in our pj's, eating oatmeal, & watching "Thomas."

Your birthday was a lot of fun this year....from the party with your friends where Swiper stole your cake, to Aunt Gretchen & Uncle Chris coming dressed for a fiesta and greeting you with "Ole!" But I think my favorite part of your special day was toward the end. You didn't get a nap and by dinner, you were a bit sensitive and your eyes filled with tears when the following conversation occurred:

"So how old are you now?"

"I'm three. But next year I'll be two again."

"No, honey, next year, you'll be four years old!"

(pause with a very sad realization look on your face)

"But I don't want to be four! I want to be two!"

(growing more upset when sensing we think it's a bit funny)

"Two was a good year, wasn't it?"

(nodding while sobbing)

(more pausing and trying not to laugh....Daddy finally speaks)

"Someday you'll be twenty two! That will be fun!"

"No, I want to be two!"

"Well, I guess you're two plus one years old. How about that?"

A hug and a change in conversation distracted you from this sad realization for the time being.

I'm also sad you're no longer two. It WAS a good year. You now write a perfect "H," read books by heart, "blow" out the lights before bed (thanks to Sammy), ran your first race, comfort your friends, went to your first dentist appointment, count to twenty (most of the time), obsess about Dora the Explorer, flew a kite, saw the ocean for the first time, went on a canoe trip, and so much more.





When I was a kid, I couldn't wait to grow up, finish school, get married, etc., etc. Now, I want time to slow down so I can relish and enjoy each moment. I have especially sensed this realization the day you were born and the day I entered my 30's. And now that I'm watching my grandparents (your great-grandparents) age, I feel even more pressed to take advantage of every moment with those I love.

So, I guess right now I want to remind you & myself to live more in the moment. In the past, I have spent too much time hoping for the future, or regretting the past. Neither of which I can control, so why invest most of my energy on them? Your Daddy has teased me for years to find "joy in the journey."


But I'm also so very grateful that we can celebrate another year with you. Hopeful of what God will teach us this year. And thankful for your Daddy's hard work, our close families, and supportive friends.

And right now in this moment, I'm so very thankful for stuffy noses, pajamas, slippers, hot oatmeal, & PBS.


I love you, Hannah.
Happy 3rd birthday!
Love,
Mom

the time has come...

H's birthday is tomorrow...and the cake is done!



This was a lot of fun and I can't wait to make more.
Now I just need ideas for the next cake.....