Where's Waldo/Hannah?

She loves Hide and Seek, but is only now figuring out how to hide. Here's her new favorite spot. Is she cute or what?

Signs that I watch too much Food Network

I dreamt last night that I was on the Rachel Ray show. I was a guest who needed a new hair style....dreams do have a way of revealing truth, don't they? Anyways, Rachel just happened to be a hair stylist in a former life. Apparantly, she opened a spa that became world-reknown. She took "before" shots of my hair, measured the length, then began snipping away. As she worked her magic, we chatted it up. I asked her how could she possibly come up with so many recipes to fill books as well as a couple tv shows. She confided in me (BIG mistake) that she was working on a kosher cookbook. I mean, who has tapped into that market? How many kosher 30 minute meals are there, really?

Then I woke. I never got a glimpse of the new do.....and I really need some ideas.
And, by the way, if you see a new kosher cookbook by Rachel, herself....you heard it from me first.

realization

I've been watching The Office recently and am completely sucked in.
Have you ever wondered if you were one of the characters, which one would you be? I'd like to think I'd be a Pam or a version of Jim, but if I were completely honest with myself, I'm more of a Dwight....a nicer version, but nevertheless, a Dwight. A depressing conclusion, but I definitely want to acknowledge this fact before others beat me to it. Just my way of dealing with my insecurities. =)

Dear Hannah,
Well, it's been a month since your 2nd birthday and I have to admit, you are no longer a baby anymore. Here are just a few new things in the last month:
-you've been sleeping in a "big girl" bed for about a week
-went potty in the "big" potty (just once, but we're on our way)
-identify several letters in the alphabet (H is your favorite, of course)
-can tell the difference between water from the kitchen faucet as opposed to the bathroom faucet
-throw tantrums more frequently and usually in public places

I know these letters tend to be sappy, so I'll try to keep this one short and sweet.
As you continue to grow, I just want you to know how much your dad and I love you and enjoy each new milestone.
You have brought so much joy and laughter and made me a better human being.
And even though the baby stage is over, you will always be my sweet baby.

We'll miss you , Lo Lo!

Here are a few pics of last Saturday before we bid Laurie farewell.



Thanks goodness for iChat! We love you, Lo Lo!

Confession

We caught a mouse.
I'm embarrassingly terrified of them.
Isaac is out of town.
It's in one of those trap door things......still alive.
I put gloves on and threw the whole trap out on the hill, out of our yard.

I am just now realizing it would have been a little less silly and more responsible of me to at least throw it all away in our trash can...the lid would seal it in, right?
I guess I just wanted to leave a strong impression on that horrid critter: stay FAR away from me. Not sure if I really got the point across.

Which Theologan Are You?

You scored as Anselm. Anselm is the outstanding theologian of the medieval period.He sees man's primary problem as having failed to render unto God what we owe him, so God becomes man in Christ and gives God what he is due. You should read 'Cur Deus Homo?' Anselm 73% Martin Luther 47% Augustine 40% John Calvin 40% Jonathan Edwards 40% Charles Finney 33% Friedrich Schleiermacher 27% J�rgen Moltmann 20% Karl Barth 13% Paul Tillich 7% Which theologian are you? created with QuizFarm.com

I love this week

Yesterday we returned from the Chicago marathon. I know. I'm crazy. But I LOVE race day. Plus lots of people I love came to cheer us on. What a good weekend.

We returned home to eat dinner with my in-laws and Hannah and listened to their weekend adventures.

Today I read book after book with my daughter.

Vickie came by to chat and play with Hannah.

Pete and Janet brought dinner.

I just got back from listening to Sarah Vowell, an author and contributor to a radio show I really like, and all I can say is, I want her to be my friend. We went to the book signing and all I could muster was to tell her my name. I mean, what do you say that is really of any significance in that moment? "WIll you be my friend" just seems a little needy and creepy. But then again, we stalked Pete and Janet and they still come around.

Friday, Hannah turns 2. 2 years old. I am so blessed and so grateful. My heart is full.

Those of you who know my husband, can you tell me what's wrong with this picture?

While it lasts

The second I publish this, it will all change...but as of right now, I'm sitting on my cozy couch watching the Food Network, while my three, sweet girls are sleeping upstairs...and have been sleeping for about 2 hours. This is very rare, and VERY nice.

Now before I begin, I realize how, in the big scheme of things, my life is pretty good. But I've been feeling very anxious lately. Not that this is all that unusual, for myself or for anyone else for that matter, but I'm trying to figure out the root of this reccurring problem. And my recent anxiety seems very trivial and petty, but nevertheless, it's mine.

I volunteered to lead a sing-along time for the kids at a mom's group on Wednesdays. This past week was my first attempt. The loud and large gym, the enticing, destracting toys scattered throughout the gym, the large number of very young children, and the tired, drained college kids were just the right ingredients for disaster. Now, I'm sure I'm exaggerating somewhat, but I felt ridiculous singing and acting out these fun songs to kids that either looked at me as if I were trying too hard, or they were completely unaware I was up front attempting to get their undivided attention. Very humbling, I must say....which is always good for gaining perspective, right?

As of now, I think the root of the problem is I care too much of what other people think of me....even the opinions of 3 year olds. Wow, that seems borderline psychotic. Now I realize this is just 20 minutes of their lives and doesn't hold much significance, so why does this make me so angst ridden? Because I have nothing else to do? Probably depends on who you ask. But how can I let go of this need/desire/fixation to make sure I leave positive impressions everywhere I go? (However, as I write this, I realize I don't do this with my husband, the one person I definately should value.)

I was just talking to a good friend and we were pondering the question, "Why are we so guarded with people? What does it take to be more comfortable in our own skin?" I'm sure there are some obvious answers, but right now I'm stumped. It's one thing to figure out the solution, but another to apply it in the moment, one act at a time.

Actually, it's rather liberating to be silly in front of a young crowd....and even more liberating to laugh at myself afterwards. Now, if they'd only join me in the tomfoolery.

more pics

The cutest White Sox fan, besides Vickie, of course. (Thanks, Barb!)

European beer guy

If you mess with the White Sox, you mess with me.

rookie observations

Vickie has opened my eyes to the world of baseball and I feel like a kid who's just learning about the basics. She's very patient, and a little amused I think, at my naive questions....and I'm grateful that she takes the time to answer them.
Here are a few things I've noticed (please accept my apologies for any misuse or neglect of baseball lingo):

1. Baseball is a game of multi-tasking. I couldn't believe all the stats they post and keep current play by play. We could get detailed facts on each player, the speed of the pitch, etc., PLUS we could watch the scores of other games. NOT ONLY THAT, but the stadium continually had games/songs/videos playing to keep us entertained. AND SOMEHOW, we still find time to feed our faces. Baseball is either a woman's game, or men have lied when they said they can't multi-task....being the skeptical person that I am, I'm opting for the latter.

2. I love being in the midst of greatness. No matter if it's sports, academics, cooking, music, whatever, I love being present while people, who are considered some of the best in their field, do their thing. I find I especially watch them in the mundane moments. For example, I couldn't help but watch and wonder what the pitchers talk about in the bull pen area. What do they drink? What were they doing prior to the game? Did they drive here on their own after grocery shopping? I never knew that they had their own area, separate from the bull pen.

3. Baseball is all about the pitching. I'm still confused at the complexity of the pitch, but what pressure!

4. How cool would it be to have 40,000 people get up from their seats cheer for you! What a rush! On the other hand, having every mistake under the microscope would be devastatingly humbling.

5. Baseball fans (probably not ALL) are very passionate about their team. However, the players (at least from my observation) seem friendly with other teams.

Here are a few pictures from this past weekend's game:
Vickie and her mom, Barb (and our ticket into the game...thanks, Barb!)


The pitchers heading to the bull pen.

The picture that almost made the big screen!

If only Laurie would have displayed her shirt at the game!

just wondering

I've always thought the word "condone" was misleading. Doesn't it sound like it means the opposite of its actual definition?
I'm surprised some politician or entertainer hasn't misused it in some humorous way. That, or I'm the only one who has to think twice whenever I hear it.
The more I think about it, it's probably just me.

22 months

Hannah,
I know it's cliche, but time has flown by. It seems the minute I feel I've adjusted to a new milestone in your life, you're moving on toward the next.
A few of the milestones:
1. Speaking. You're amazing. Several new words/sentences everyday. I can't keep up.
2. Using utensils. It's messy, but you love to eat applesauce all by yourself.
3. Throwing fits. Telling me, "no." Especially in public. Very humbling. And probably very satisifying for my own mother.
4. You seem to have two sides. One that is very social, friendly, and courageous. And another that is timid, shy, and fearful. You love the playground and seem to have no fear. Yet, when it comes to getting wet, you cling to me and beg to be taken away.

A few thoughts I want you to know about these milestones:
1. Words are powerful. Despite my own failures, I hope you grow to learn how to use them to build up, encourage, and praise. I also hope you know that I will do my best to listen to your heart when words reach their limit for understanding. With God's help, I will try to be slow to speak, and quick to listen.
2. My job is to help you become responsible and independent. But I will always be there for you whenever you need me.
3. I think this is the beginning of a tough stage for me. Your will vs. my will. I hope I always show God's and my love for you throughout the process.
4. I love you just as you are.

Isaac told me that this verse opened the first chapel service at LCC. I think I found my new favorite verse.

"Ask questions. Find out what has been going on all these years before you were born. From the day God created man and woman on this Earth, and from the horizon in the east to the horizon in the west—as far back as you can imagine and as far away as you can imagine—has as great a thing as this ever happened? Has anyone ever heard of such a thing? Has a people ever heard, as you did, a god speaking out of the middle of the fire and lived to tell the story?"

Deuteronomy 4:32-35 (The Message)

Tasks completed:
1. Successful completion of a Sudoku puzzle (I'm new at this, but I think I'm addictied)
2. Answered a million questions...many of them were duplicates...from 2 children I'm temporarily watching.
3. Housecleaning...not worth recording the details, because it's a never ending job and back on the list for tomorrow.
4. Fed the children.
5. Fed & medicated the dog (don't worry, I'm not drugging him for my benefit, it's the doctor's instructions)
6. Babies sleeping and kids having quiet time =)


Still left to do:
1. Shower

We all scream for ice cream!

As part of Laurie's summer extravaganza (or whatever she's calling it.....but who are we kidding, we'd get ice cream for any reason), we took a trip to a favorite ice cream parlor. So we hopped into the car,


and headed to Emack & Bolio's.


Delicious ice cream was consumed and great conversation was had. A good time was had by all. The end.

...worth a thousand words

Where's a sarcastic caption when you need it? Any suggestions? Anyone?

New computer with camera!

I know, you're amazed at my photography & modeling skills. More to come...you're on the edge of your seats, I know it.

Hey world, I'm back

I thought I'd better post something for the two people who still check this site every now and then. Here's an abbreviated update on my life:

Home:
Busy...as usual. Is anyone surprised? Isaac is home with Hannah while trying to fit study time for grad classes. I have 3 more weeks at the park, then get to be home full time and watching 2 other girls part time.

Work:
Tiring at times, but a good job.
Today in the intense heat out at camp, I brought my guest presenters from an ecology group beverages in styrofoam cups. They were polite and didn't point out my indiscretion.

Family:
Bobbi, my youngest sister got married July 8th. Hannah was a flower girl, I was a bridesmaid, and Isaac officiated. Soon after the wedding, we spent several days with Gretchen & Chris (Isaac's sister and brother-in-law) in Indiana and Chicago. Lots of food and family in the last few weeks. Very busy. I'll post pictures soon.

Misc:
Hannah and I saw Elmo and Bob McGrath (the music teacher from Sesame Street, and Big Bird's best friend) in Peoria last weekend. I think I could be a Sesame Street groupie. I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, but I got a little teary when Bob sang, "Sing, sing a song....don't worry that it's not good enough for anyone else to hear...." Sweet childhood memories.

Well, there's all my disjointed thoughts/updates. I'll try to be more consistent in the future. Thanks for those who keep checking my site!

losing my wisdom

Friday morning, I'm finally getting my wisdom teeth taken out. The only reason I'm not having my usual anxiety attack from the thought of needles and that sterile, creepy hospital smell is that the doctor promised me he'd put me out with gas before the iv and other numbing agents are injected in my mouth. Also, a friend of mine said she's never slept better after her surgery.

At least, this is what I'm telling myself so that I don't start getting an ulcer. I just want to get it over with and finally tell my dentist I did what he's been telling me to do for years. I know this is such a routine, no-big-deal procedure, but once I enter that office, all logic seems to be forgotten. So if you remember, will you please say a little prayer for me Friday morning around 11am?

By the way, why are they called "wisdom" teeth? Especially if no one really needs them?

Unsolicited advice...priceless, I guess

So, I have this beautiful bridesmaid dress that needs lots of alterations before July 8. I spend part of yesterday morning calling as many tailors as I could find, and here is one conversation with a lady named, Nonie:

Nonie: hello?

Me: Hi! My name is Krista and I (blah, blah,.......Any of you who know me well, know I give too much information, so I proceeded to tell her that I plan on losing a few more pounds before I want to alter the dress so it fits really well.)

Nonie: Well, you'll only lose around 5 pounds in the next month and that won't make much difference in alterations. However if you exercise along with watching your diet, it might be a little more noticeable....blah, blah, blah.....(did I accidentally call a personal trainer?)

Me: (not what I'm thinking, but I say) You're right. May I ask what you charge?

Okay, I know what you all are thinking and yes, she is probably right. BUT, if anyone likes a challenge and hates it when someone tells me I can't do something, it's me. AND, she doesn't know I gain and lose weight primarily in my midsection, right? The MOST noticeable area, in my opinion!!

And to make matters worse, she is the most affordable. Darn it.

But...am I going to prove her wrong? What do YOU think?!!?

18 months

Hannah,

I can't believe a year and half has gone by so quickly. Everyone told me it would, but I still find myself sitting here, amazed at where the time went. You are doing so many new things lately, it's hard to keep track of it all. Your vocabulary, walking, and motor skills constantly improve. The stroller is rarely used anymore, you definately prefer walking. In fact, "shoes" is one of your favorite words and objects at the moment. The weather has been so nice, we've been going for walks and anything that looks remotely round, you immediately try to pick up and call it a "ball." "Juice", "more", "stairs", "no", "Daddy", and "Mommy" are just a few of the words you use on a regular basis. You love music and always ask for more. You are starting to sing....in a cute, monotone, kind of way...especially "If you're happy and you know it" and "Itsy Bitsy Spider."

As you can tell by the picture, I am still learning how to do your hair. In my defense, that morning, you decided bananas make great hair gel. You don't have much yet, but you are just now starting to want to wear barettes.

I wish I were better at recording all these milestones, but I'm just glad I get to experience them.



Hmmm....what do I want you to know about this time of your life?

I want you to know that before you came into our lives, I worried about what kind of mom I would be for you, and I suppose I still do, and always will. But lately, I've realized how much you have changed me. My heart has softened and opened up in such a profound way. Not only toward you, but towards others....although, your father at times might feel differently. =)

I find I worry more, but also cherish each moment. I feel like I understand a little more from where my own mother was coming. In fact, I realized this the last time mom came and visited. I love kissing you over and over on your cheeks, and mom did this to me the same way I now do it to you.

I also realize that you may not always appreciate my attachment to you. And in a way, I'm okay with that. I will always love you and be here for you and absolutely nothing will change that. I'm slowly gaining a better understanding of who God is and how He cares for us. My prayer for you is that you experience God's love and forgiveness for yourself. In the meantime, I will continue to enjoy our walks to the park, laugh at your reactions to new experiences, and cherish every moment I have with you.

I love you,
Mom

Overheard at Old Navy

A mom, (speaking to her young daughter): Which dress do you want to wear tonight?

Daughter: To wear to the funeral?

Mother: No, honey. It's Communion, not a funeral.

Who's your daddy?

"Daddy, daddy, daddy,.....," says Hannah when she spots this picture. If only she said,"Mommy" over and over when she saw Jessica Simpson. (Sigh)

Update (For anyone who hasn't given up on me)

Hannah: Almost 18 months, and I can't believe it! She's adding new words to her vocabulary everyday while I'm adding more parenting books to my library. Her stubborn streak is showing, and I've got to figure something out, quick. For anyone who knows me well, I'm pretty stubborn, but I'm shocked to find how easily she softens me.

Work: It's been rough. Not too many crazy gardner comments, which I've missed the comic relief. I am looking forward to quitting after the season is over....only a few more weeks. After that, I get to work at a summer day camp and Isaac transforms into a stay-at-home dad, In the fall, I've decided to continue watching this sweet girl, Katie and another baby girl part-time. Even though child care was not in the plan, these girls are super sweet, and will be great playmates for Hannah. And in the long run, it's less work than what I've currently been doing.

Family: I miss my family and get to see them at my baby sister's wedding in July. We also get to spend some quality time with Isaac's sister and husband this summer. It's been a long time since we've hung out and we miss them so much.

Home: I used to say our old house has character, but I changed my mind...it builds character. Lots of things need fixed and will be in time. Poor Isaac, this is more his load, than mine. But we have a beautiful patio, so come over...I love guests! Speaking of guests, our wonderful houseguest for the last several months is moving to her new home at the end of May. So we're taking applications for our next roomate....anyone interested?

That's about all. Just wanted to put something up before I for got my password.

Violin music starts.....now

It feels like a Monday.

I have 7.5 bundles of work to do.....about 9 hours of work, if I"m lucky, Hannah and Katie are being more high maintenance than usual, and I for some reason planned a "quick" meal for today that required me to take the skin off of a chicken before placing in the crockpot, which I"ve never attempted before. How do I have time to post this blog, you say? Well, I have a few minutes before I put them both down for a nap, hoping that they are playing hard enough to earn a few more minutes of naptime.

I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday.

Huh?

More crazy gardner stuff:

1. 6 more losing lottery tickets- they are also postmarked from Providence, Rhode Island, just like last time

2. I think all this guy wants is a catalog, but here's what he wrote:
"If I order Don't Nothing if it isn't ordered By me. I so it will Be burned in a Fire. Some Cause Trouble in Pasture. If I had Got your Book (for Seed and Plants) Theair is Few Seed I would liked to had. But We (My wife & I) live only 60 road Miles From Fort Waldon Florida Or 76 Miles From Panama City. We Plant Some of the Seed you have in the last week of the year. And Some Up and Almost Reedy to Ploon. The Pear Start (This 2-2-06) to Bloom Sundy 1-29-05 Send new Book 1-12-06. Unless Seed Go Up."

Dear Vanilla Ice,

Awhile ago, a good friend of mine made this great mix CD with which for me to run. She included your hit, "Ice, Ice Baby". Now, I've heard you'd like to forget those days, just like I'd rather not admit I listen to this kind of music genre, but I have to tell you, at mile 5 your song was the wind beneath my wings. Thank you. I no longer will be ashamed of you and I will learn the words to this song so I can rock out at the next karaoke party. That is my pledge to you.

Your not-so-secret fan,
Krista

Those crazy gardners

Here's my two recent favorite pieces I've recieved in the mail:

1. a small slip of paper stating, "FREE 'MARK OF THE BEAST' C.D. TELL THEM A FRIEND. 1-800-643-4645"

2. 5 scratched lottery tickets...no order, no note, no nothing....What was the scenario that brought someone to do this? Any suggestions?

I wrestle with the aching question, "Why does God allow suffering?" I'm finally reading what so many of my friends have found a refreshing look on Christianity. I have to say, I needed to read this months, if not years ago. I'm only through the first section, so more posts to come!

"If a thing is free to be good it is also free to be bad. And free will is what has made evil possible. Why, then, did God give them free will? Because free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having. A world of automata--of creatures that worked like machines--would hardly be worth creating. The happiness which God designs for His higher creatures is the happiness of being freely, voluntarily united to Him and to each other in an ecstasy of love and delight compared with which the most rapturous love between a man and a woman on this earth is mere milk and water. And for that they must be free." --C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

As you all probably know, today is the anniversary of the Challenger explosion. For my generation, this is probably the first memorable event that we seem to remember where we were when we heard about it.

I was one of the many students who watched the launch live on tv. For weeks (it seemed), we studied, read, & heard about this event. Remember Weekly Reader? The 4th & 5th grade classes crammed into the hallway to watch the Challenger. I remember feeling shock and disbelief. Is this for real? I kept waiting for the announcer to inform us that this launch was the trial run or something. My memory is pretty cloudy, but I don't remember discussing it much in class. The teachers were pretty stunned as well, and I think they just tried to move on with the day.

Even before the launch, a lot of attention was focused on Christa McAullife, the first teacher to participate in space travel. Science was never my favorite subject....very boring....how can you understand such "hands-on" concepts by merely reading a textbook? Anyways, even though I didn't consider myself good at science, I had an immediate connection to this teacher because she was the only other person I knew who shared my name. Kind of a silly reason, but I felt I held a special bond with her that none of my classmates would understand. Because of this, I wanted to go to Space Camp and be the next "Christa" to join a space mission.

Well as you know, this hasn't happened yet. But this anniversary reminds me of my past dreams and desire to do something significant. (I also wanted to be the first woman president.) My dreams have somewhat changed....maybe reality has just set in. I want my life to be less about me and more about loving and serving others. (But I keep getting in the way.) But the little girl in me every now and then yearns for something big to happen......

So I have 2 questions for you:
1. Where were you when the Challenger exploded?
2. What were/are your dreams?

random thoughts

1. This new "immune-boosting tablet" called Airborne....the commercials are crappy, but what I really don't get is their choice slogan: "The one created by a teacher and trusted by millions." I'd much rather ingest chemicals developed by a teacher rather than someone in, let's say, the MEDICAL profession?!

2. My work for a landscaping company has begun again. So... tis the season for crazy rants from gardeners around the country. First rant of the season: "Here I am. The greatest man on earth except God and Jesus." No kidding.

3. Toddler: I think I can now say Hannah has moved from babyhood into the exciting world of being a toddler. She is not as cooperative as she once was. (Please, no "I told you so's"....I"m not in the mood.)

4. Why is making a menu for the week so overwhelming to me? I've completed more difficult things, so why does this seem difficult? Other moms I"ve talked to claim it's easy. Rachel Ray does it everyday in 30 minutes! I'm not convinced.

That's all for now. Sorry if this sounds a bit whiny. I'll post something more positive later.

more lists...

I haven't posted in a very long time and still don't have much to say of significance. But one of my friends posted this list, so I thought I would too.

Four jobs you’ve had in your life:
1. delivered newspapers
2. Steak n' Shake waitress
3. 4th grade teacher
4. stay at home mom

Four movies you could watch over and over:
(I don't usually like to watch a movie more than once, but here are some I enjoyed a few times)
1. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the old one)
2. Office Space
3. My Best Friend's Wedding
4. Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Four places you’ve lived:
1. Gering, Nebraska
2. Lincoln, Illinois
3. Indianapolis
4. Normal

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. American Idol (new season next week!)
2. Saturday Night Live
3. Arrested Development
4. Seinfeld

Four places you’ve been on vacation:
1. Mt. Rushmore & Flinstone's Village (don't laugh, it was way cool for a young Nebraska girl)
2. Road trip along the California coast
3. Yellowstone National Park
4. Mexico

Four web sites you visit daily:
1. dooce.com
2. illinoise.net
3. igaff.com
4. cefcu.com

Four of your favorite foods:
1. nachos
2. pizza
3. ice cream
4. chicken fingers

Four places you’d rather be:
1. on the beach in the Carribean
2. in the midst of runners on race day
3. cuddling with Hannah after her nap
4. in the car on a road trip

Four albums/artists you can’t live without:
(I'm not sure I want to admit the strange variety of what I like....)
1. John Mayer
2. U2
3. Kelly Clarkson
4. Dave Matthews Band


Four magazines you read:
1. US Weekly (yes, I'll admit it!)
2. The Pantagraph....not a magazine, but that's about all the periodicals I read
3.
4.

Four cars you’ve owned:
1. 88 Dodge Colt
2. 98 Eclipse
3. 03 Honda CRV
4.


What about you?