11 weeks

Dear baby,
This week was technically our first meeting and I was so very excited and relieved to see your heartbeat. I will continue to pray that you will grow to become a healthy little one.

You have a big sister who, for a few months now, has been praying you would come....and is honing her teaching skills. I'm pretty sure she feels the urgency to learn everything there is to learn. "Why?" and "How come?" are her favorite and most often asked questions.

Your daddy is also preparing for your arrival. As I write this, he is finishing our basement...so you and your sister have a space to play and that we can have room for your nursery. So far, I'm just trying to feed you the right things....and trying to stay away from the wrong ones...which is harder than I'd like.

There will be many more people to introduce you to and and even more things to tell you. But for now, I just want you to know you are loved and we cannot wait to meet you.

Love,
your mama

Just call me fashionista

I'm not much of a trend setter. In fact, once I find a shirt I like, I usually just buy that same shirt in several colors. I usually start liking whatever the "new" thing months or even years after it's been around.

Over the past year, I've dreadfully noticed how the 80's styles are coming back. But I've recently discovered how much I loved a specific style of shirt. It reminds me of my favorite outfit in junior high. I LOVED this burgundy and black striped shirt with black leggings I bought at Maurices. I think I also had a green and navy striped one as well....Paris Sport Club. Do you remember it? Designed for daring teenage girls like me.

So here's the official shirt of the summer for me....I already have one in grey and black. I know, so very adventurous of me. But I even bought leggings! Now I just have to muster up the nerve to wear them.

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you are being pursued, but you can't move because it feels as if your feet are cemented to the ground? Or the dream where you somehow forget to get dressed before you head off to school, then the rest of the dream is spent desperately and futilely trying to get some sort of clothing on?

Well, these last several days have felt a little like that. It recently dawned on me that I never printed Laurie's newsletters, just emailed them....that was on April 8th! April 8th!

So I went to print and the old printer is discontinued and my computer no longer has a driver for it. So I find the driver online....and still doesn't work. Isaac says he'll have to get a CD from work. I can't wait that long, so I grab our other printer.
Out of ink. Of course. I go to refill the cartridge, take it home, still doesn't work. After 3 more trips, I am able to print 9 newsletters. Out of 108.

So this morning, I drive to Walmart and purchase new cartridges. Should have bought 2 sets. You'd think I have learned.

So far, I have about 40 completed (along with an additional apology/take responsibility for the tardiness schpeel) which my computer has printed at an agonizingly slow pace (I need more ram or something, Isaac says).

Okay, so it may not be as bad as public nudity, but this newsletter, of ALL newsletters is time sensitive. AARRGH!!!
What was I thinking?! I guess it doesn't matter at this point, but I'm looking forward to this heightened heart rate and sense of panic to subside.

the Sauder girls & kids

Hannah and I had a really nice time in Omaha catching up with my sisters and being amazed at how much the babies have grown. Here are a few pictures from the weekend:
(This has been sitting in my unpublished posts, waiting for me to add comments, but it's taken too long already. So feel free to suggest the appropriate captions.)

I saw a fox on the trail this morning.....a FOX!!

Update in pictures

Lots of activity here the last few weeks, but I just can't seem to muster up the energy to write about it. So here are some pictures:

For my birthday, my thoughtful husband and great friends planned "The Amazing Birthday Race." My apologies for my lack of pictures here. We were divided into teams, and sent on various missions....one was to eat a cheeseburger next to Abe Lincoln on the bench...Ryan actually bought a double cheeseburger since it was cheaper....but not as fast to eat.

They also made a crossword puzzle all about me (I felt a bit narcissistic...and by the way, I do NOT snort when I laugh),

Played sudoku with sidewalk chalk and a driveway, and took pictures with strangers doing various things. Our team found the PERFECT group of strangers: junior high girls!! (I wish I had the pictures to prove it!)

Vickie's birthday followed, so I made her a cake...


Followed by the anticpated Fondue Friday! Other than making WAY too much, it was very yummy. And I can't wait to try some more recipes! If it weren't for Chris, I wouldn't even have this picture. So thanks, Chris!


This past weekend, Hannah accomplished a few firsts....
using scissors....(She caught on rather quickly!)

...and planting a garden. This is a first for me as well!



Here are just a couple cute pictures taken this past week.



In the next few days, I'll be in Omaha catching up with my sisters and holding my niece and nephew. So more pictures to come!

My twin?

Another one to add to my pile

I have a few other books to finish before I start anything else, but Ben Witherington gives a persuasive review of The Year of Living Biblically.

If you have time, check it out and let me know what you think!

100 Things to do before I go...

Okay...so 100 is a bit much, but my mom raised me to finish what I start, so here goes:

76. Finish other things I've started. =)
77. Celebrate my 70th wedding anniversary.
78. Spoil my grandkids.
79. Adopt or help someone adopt.
80. Explaining the Lenten and Easter season to Hannah.
81. Strengthen my patience.
82. Relish conversations with girlfriends.
83. Know the names of everyone living on my street.
84. Go mountain climbing.
85. Visit with my sisters while our kids play.
86. Buy a cabin in the mountains....big enough to share.
87. Learn how to bake chewy, chocolate chip cookies.
88. Bring baby Gaff #2 home (no, not an annoucement!).
89. Plant a garden with Hannah.
90. Go back to Mexico with Isaac.
91. Take at least one ESL class this fall.
92. Make homemade pasta.
93. Laugh, the side-hurting kind, almost everyday.
94. Make Hannah and Isaac laugh like this on a regular basis.
95. Read the comics with Hannah every morning.
96. Use our car less and the trail more.
97. Kiss the Blarney Stone.
98. Take advantage of the free concerts & events in town.
99. Find more ways to ease Isaac's load...and do it joyfully.
100. Start each morning thankfully and prayerfully.

What we've been up to...

While I'm trying to come up with my last 25 "100 things..." (much harder than I thought it would be), here are some photos of the last week or so.
Palm Sunday, we were in Indiana visiting the Gaff family. Here's Uncle Nick dressing up as Tinkerbell.

After the whole Tinkerbell episode, she warmed right up to him. Who wouldn't? =)

Decorating Easter eggs...



A big Easter egg hunt on a cold, cold morning....


It was fun after all!!

Empty eggs?!

Easter Sunday...
Daddy and his girl

Hannah and Grandma and their puzzles

Another hunt at Vickie's house with H's new friend/superhero, Ben

I took this about 2 weeks ago.
I knew it was going to be a good day when the paper accidentally printed THREE of these:

theodicy

I keep hearing about the release of a new book, God's Problem, by Bart D. Ehrman. He's been interviewed on NPR, and since it's the Easter season, many people have been discussing it. From my limited understanding, the author questions an existence of God because of the presence of suffering in the world.

I read Ben Witherington's blog and I like what he says concerning this issue:

"In one sense of course, Bart Ehrman's views are understandable. If you are raised to believe that a good sovereign God before the beginning of time pre-determined all things that have happen in this world, then indeed you have a severe problem of logic when it comes to both sin and suffering, both misery and mayhem. But in fact the God of fatalism with all things predetermined is not the God of the Bible. That is the God of Islam, but not Christianity at its best.

The Bible teaches that most of human suffering is of our own making, not predestined by God. There is this little doctrine called the Fall, and also the matter of humans being created with wills of their own. Both the Fall and at least the power of contrary choice in fallen persons more than adequately explains most of the wickedness we see in the world--- it is, as Tennyson used to say 'a case of man's inhumanity to man'."

This is such a crucial topic...one that Christians need to carefully think about, study, and discuss. I think I might add this book to my list of must-reads. Anyone want to start a book group?

100 Things to do before I go...

Okay the handful of you who are kind enough to read this.....I need some ideas!!!
If 100 is too much, go for 10.
Pretty please?!

51. Reduce our need for "storage"...simplify.
52. Go whitewater rafting again.
53. Help pay for a student's college tuition...and Hannah's, of course.
54. Go to Haiti with my parents.
55. Take a similar trip with Isaac and Hannah.
56. Go for coffee with Isaac on a regular basis.
57. File our taxes without professional help.
58. Learn how to change a tire (yeah, I don't know how...).
59. Learn how to play Bridge....fits with my love for crosswords.
60. Explore Washington D.C.
61. Travel to the old & new 7 wonders of the world.
62. Take one of Dr. Castelein's & Dr. Lowery's courses.
63. Spot a moose at Yellowstone.
64. Go to a Broadway show.
65. Visit every continent (or all but Antarctica).
66. Be a more informed voter.
67. Laugh and talk with friends on our patio late into the night.
68. Study more about planets, stars and galaxies.
69. Gaze at the stars on summer nights.
70. Enjoy and honor my family's accomplishments more than my own.
71. Audition for a community theatre or choir.
72. Regularly seek God's approval over the approval of others.
73. Be teachable.
74. Speak out of kindness and love.
75. Eat ice cream.....guilt free.

100 things to do before I go...

This is more difficult than I thought. Please post yours.....I need more ideas!!

26. Invent and patent something
27. Teach Hannah how to ride a bike.
28. Hike the Grand Canyon.
29. Expand my cooking repertoire.
30. Go on a 2 week vacation without computers.
31. Read everything written by C.S. Lewis.
32. Complete a Wil Shortz crossword without help.
33. Host a block party.
34. Write a children's book.
35. Take Hannah to Chicago via Amtrak.
36. Speak basic Spanish.
37. Work for Habitat for Humanity.
38. Establish a way to volunteer monthly as a family.
39. Get this dang basement finished.
40. Improve my piano skills.
41. Take violin lessons.
42. Take art classes.
43. Establish Fondue Fridays.
44. And Waffle Wednesdays.
45. Write thank you notes to my teachers.
46. Start a neighborhood book group.
47. Put some of my dad's lyrics to music.
48. Be less selfish about my time.
49. Listen to others better.
50. Overcome my fear of needles and give blood.

Evidence that she is a reflection of what she sees....

"I'm not very happy of you." (followed by an exasperated sigh)

"I will in a minute"

"Ah, he's being sweet."

"You need to go to your room and get dressed."

"You know what the Bible says? It's my turn first." (She got this one mixed up....just to clarify.)

"Mommy, I like you just the way you are."

"What you said?...What she said?"

100 things to do before I go

One particular blog I subscribe to, made a list of things she'd like to experience/accomplish in this lifetime. I enjoyed her list, but felt a bit leery to make my own for various reasons. One is that sometimes these lists can shift my focus onto things that won't last...until she convinced me it was worthwhile by challenging us to ponder these questions:

-What would surprise me if I found out I hadn’t done it by the time I died?
-What are the little things I expect to just unroll in front of me?
-What are the big, amazing things that absolutely wouldn’t happen without some heads-down, teeth-clenched work?
-What things have I been concentrating on that don’t really matter?

So I'm going to give it a try and post 25 at a time. If you feel so inclined, I'd love to hear your ideas and read your list!

1. Learn how to swim.
2. Write a song.
3. Run the New York City Marathon.
4. Ability to and continue to run.
5. Read everything by Henri Nouwen.
6. Start a business....maybe cake decorating??
7. Pray more and more.
8. Be comfortable in my own skin...body, personality, etc.
9. Hike Pikes Peak and Longs Peak.
10. Listen to Hannah read her first book and write her first sentence.
11. Buy Isaac a bass guitar and a piano.
12. Attend Isaac's graduation next June.
13. Finish my masters degree.
14. Always have time to make a meal, visit, serve, and encourage others.
15. Be willing to let others do the same for me.
16. Pay off our debt, mortgage and all, early.
17. Enjoy long conversations with Hannah, as an adult.
18. Enjoy long conversations with Hannah, right now. =)
19. Go camping, the rugged kind, and enjoy it.
20. Backpack Europe.
21. Explore Hawaii.
22. Take Tae Kwon Do lessons.
23. Recycle more and find ways to waste less.
24. Grow an herb garden.
25. Establish meaningful family traditions following the church calendar.

a day of firsts

This morning's events have made me realize I do way too much for Hannah. I think she's been capable of doing these for awhile, but in my hurry to move things along, I take charge. So today marks the beginning of some new responsibilities, er, opportunities...yeah, that's how I'll set it up.....for Hannah.

She made her bed and dressed herself from head to toe.


She completed this puzzle.

Things I'm thankful for today:

-Hannah's many, many questions
-a warm house
-smell of baking banana bread
-the Internet
-Henry J.M. Nouwen
-a praying husband
-conversations
-lotion & chapstick
-the Lenten season
-my bread machine
-the dining room window
-an unexpected chat with Laurie
-my treadmill
-shelves
-the fact that we need shelves
-buds on branches poking through the snow
-more and more daylight
-naptime

yet another reason to buy her album....

You will lose your baby teeth
At times you'll lose your faith in me
You will lose a lot of things
But you cannot lose my love

You may lose your appetite
Your guiding sense of wrong and right
You may lose your will to fight
But you cannot lose my love

You will lose your confidence
In times of trial your common sense
You may lose your innocence
But you cannot lose my love

Many things can be misplaced
Your very memories be erased
No matter what the time or space
You cannot lose my love

-Sara Groves

40 months...or so

Hannah,
In church yesterday, I saw a glimpse into the heart of a parent whose child is now an adult. During part of the service, the son made a public confession of faith and declaration of what God means to him, then his father proudly baptized his son. During the song that followed, he returned to his seat where his mother, wife, and son were waiting for him. His mother, especially, couldn't hold back the tears and as we all sang, she wept silently.

Later on during the service, we were asked to pray for loved ones, friends, neighbors who haven't experienced God's forgiveness and new perspective on life. A different mother, sitting in the same vicinity, went up and also wept silently. Her son, now an adult, doesn't yet know his need for God.

A few days ago, I was reading a book on parenting. And it reminded me that the older you get, the less control I have. There are certain decisions you will need to make on your own. And the decision I so desperately want you to make, alongside these two other mothers, can only be made by you.

Our church has been recently challenging us to reflect on why we are Christians. It's so difficult to articulate why I decided to be a follower of Christ....it's been a journey of questioning, studying, and living. I've had to find answers to my many doubts. I've watched other people work out, or continue to struggle with theirs. All those things have been a very important part of my journey. But the most important reason why I'm a Christian is because of God's love. We humans, have really made a mess of this world. So much pain, suffering. We have misplaced desires and passions. But we have a God who wants real communion with us...and has given us the freedom to decide whether or not we want to walk with Him (would it be genuine communion if it was forced?).

I love you so much, Hannah. And at times, I get overwhelmed with the thought of ever losing you. So I understand the rejoicing one mother experienced yesterday, knowing she'll be with her son in eternity....and the sadness of another who doesn't know if she'll experience that same joy.

I hope you'll be able to get a taste of God's love for you through the way your dad and I love you. I know that you, of all people, will realize that we aren't perfect and need wisdom that is not our own, but I pray that you will see the power of forgiveness and redemption in the way we love you, one another, and the people around us. We will fail many times, but God will never fail you.

There's a song, that I'll probably post later, that keeps surfacing during quiet times or times of prayer. It reminds me that life is and will be full of losses....but one thing you can never lose is my love. When you came into the world, my heart expanded....I never knew I could love in a way that I love you. This love has given me a glimpse of how pervasive and passionate God's love must be. At this point in my journey, this is the primary reason I'm a Christian.

Thankful for you in so many ways,
Mom

Who does this?!

Warning: Vickie, you may not like this video.

Should I be stopping this behavior? Am I sick for thinking this is really funny? You can be honest, I can take it.
Note: I think she got this by watching our dog....he gets "sick" every now and then. At least she cleans up after herself in a more civil way than he does. =)

Would you buy one of these?

I made these for some friends this week. One of them offered to sell them for me at her eating establishment, so I took her up on it. After spending so much time on them, I now understand why some stores sell them for about $7. I'm just hoping they'll sell for a buck a piece. I have a long way to go in the decorating/detail department, but it was fun.

My demographic is in there somewhere

As many of you know, I'm rather fond of the crossword puzzle. Most days, I try to complete the printed version our lovely newspaper publishes. Every now and then, I'll go to the crosswords on Pantagraph.com as well. Gently inferring that I'm preparing myself for dentures and Depends, Isaac challenged me to keep a log of ads displayed on the daily puzzle.

So, fine. I'll do it. I'll admit it. I am who I am, right?
Local companies that help support my habit:

Puzzle #1 (This is just day 1, people! Give it time!)
Mennonite Retirement Community
Fourwinds RV
Westminster Village
Central Illinois Properties

Puzzle #2 (This is more like it)
Galaxy 14 Cinema
Chesterbrook Academy Preschool
InHomeTrainer.com
Rental authority

#3
Uftring Motors
USA Ballet Company
Westminster Village

#4
Sam Leman motors
Westminster Village
InHomeTrainer.com
nowhiring.com

#5
Prudential real estate
Westminster Village
American Family Insurance
Central Illinois Properties

I submit the evidence. You be the judge.

Because toddlers & college kids are not much different

Recently, I received an email from one of my good college friends.

Earlier that day, she heard some strange sounds coming from the room her girls were playing. She would hear some grunts, some sort of crash, then a fit of laughter. When she walked in, each daughter, on opposite sides of the room and holding a large stuffed animal, ran and leapt towards each other, then falling into a pile on the ground.

After describing the uncontrollable laughter, she asked me if this brought back any memories.

It did.
And here's the evidence:

found....much too late

Some people have a true gift of telling a story and creating a magical, memorable moment. I have come to learn the hard way, that I am not one of these people.

Some of my most embarrassing moments are when I'm trying way too hard to be funny (and there have been too many to count).
I cringe whenever these memories come flooding back. Today this happened when I stumbled upon advice, years too late.

One of these moments was when one of my dear sisters asked me to give a toast at her wedding. Let's just say, Bambi, I'm still so very sorry. Luckily, Bobbi, my youngest, more eloquent sister, chimed in and saved the day. And thankfully, Bambi has and continues to be very gracious.

Here are a few things I need to persistently remind myself of:
-If you are consciously trying to be funny, just stop. PLEASE just stop.
-Sometimes moments cannot relived by retelling them...especially if the audience wasn't there.
-The glazed-over look in peoples' eyes IS your first clue that you need to wrap it up....quickly.
-It will happen again. This is just what you do. So at least get a good laugh out of it.

I think I found my theme song.....

I've never claimed to be an expert on what's good, but lately I've been listening to albums I've had a long time.
And right now, I LOVE the album "All Right Here" by Sara Groves. The whole album has spoken volumes to me lately and I'll probably post more later since I've been at a loss of what else to put here lately.

But this is definitely my theme song...at least right now. =)
The lyrics are good in and of themselves, but they don't do the song justice.....so go to iTunes RIGHT NOW and buy the album!

I am long on staying
I am slow to leave
Especially when it comes to you my friend
You have taught me to slow down
And to prop up my feet
It's the fine art of being who I am
And I can't figure out
Why you want me around
I'm not the smartest person I have ever met
But somehow that doesn't matter
No it never really mattered to you at all

And at the risk or wearing out my welcome
At the risk of self-discovery
I'll take every moment and every minute that you'll give me

And I can think of time when families all lived together
Four generations in one house
And the table was full of good food
And friends and neighbors
That's not how we like it now
Cause if you sit at home you're a loser
Couldn't you find anything better to do
Well no I couldn't think of one thing
I would rather waste my time on than sitting here with you

And at the risk of wearing out my welcome
At the risk of self-discovery
I'll take every moment and every minute that you'll give me

And I wish all the people I love the most
Could gather in one place
And know each other and love each other well
And I wish we could all go camping
And lay beneath the stars
And have nothing to do and stories to tell
We'd sit around the campfire
And we'd make each other laugh remembering when
You're the first one I'm inviting
Always know that you're invited my friend

cute video tip

If you want a good laugh today, go to Laurie's (LoLo) blog...I've got her as one of my links to the right.
Hannah and Laurie spent a long time messing with iMovie and photobooth yesterday. Very funny to watch.
Enjoy!

What Hannah refers to as "floffing"

Turkey Trotters

Most of you know this about me, but I LOVE races....especially one that is free and on a holiday!
This 3 miles seemed longer than most. Not sure why, maybe the hills or the seeming loops over and over, but it was still fun....and I'm just thankful that my legs still let me run...AND that I have a friend that loves to join me. Thanks, Vickie. =)

purging

I showed great restraint yesterday shopping with Vickie at Macy's.
I've been wanting a shiny, red pair of flats....just because. No real need for them, but red shoes just sound like fun, right?
Well, I FOUND them! Not only that, they were on SALE! A GOOD sale!

Then I remembered how often I ask Isaac to refrain from spending....how could I justify even spending $20 on something that is far from a need? I just couldn't do it.

Now today, I've been knee-deep in purging all of our stuff and finding new ways to organize. I have to admit, I really enjoy doing this type of thing....but I've also realized how much stuff/junk we really have....and need to give away or throw out.

So instead, for Christmas, all I'll be asking for this year are gift cards to Lowe's so we can make best use of our space....all to appreciate the stuff we already have.

But I still would really like those pair of shoes. Maybe by this Friday, the price will be slashed even more!
One can only hope. =)

Fine, if you won't let me sit with YOU, then....

preview....

As I mentioned earlier, Scott took our pictures last weekend. I asked for lots of candids...so I can't wait to see the rest!

not for the squeamish...

I'm so grateful Hannah has always been a good sleeper, so last night was one of the few nights she was up most of the night...with the flu. Isaac was on clean-up-duty (poor guy) and I was on hold-her-hair-back-while-she-vomits-duty. I'll spare you the details except to say I'll never really enjoy the smell of Kraft macaroni & cheese again.

On another note, we had our annual family photos on Saturday and Hannah was working the camera! Very funny...and I can't wait to see all the shots. Our good friend, Scott, is an excellent photographer and it also didn't hurt that Hannah loves him, so she was very cooperative! I'll post a few pics when we get them back.