I wrestle with the aching question, "Why does God allow suffering?" I'm finally reading what so many of my friends have found a refreshing look on Christianity. I have to say, I needed to read this months, if not years ago. I'm only through the first section, so more posts to come!

"If a thing is free to be good it is also free to be bad. And free will is what has made evil possible. Why, then, did God give them free will? Because free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having. A world of automata--of creatures that worked like machines--would hardly be worth creating. The happiness which God designs for His higher creatures is the happiness of being freely, voluntarily united to Him and to each other in an ecstasy of love and delight compared with which the most rapturous love between a man and a woman on this earth is mere milk and water. And for that they must be free." --C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

As you all probably know, today is the anniversary of the Challenger explosion. For my generation, this is probably the first memorable event that we seem to remember where we were when we heard about it.

I was one of the many students who watched the launch live on tv. For weeks (it seemed), we studied, read, & heard about this event. Remember Weekly Reader? The 4th & 5th grade classes crammed into the hallway to watch the Challenger. I remember feeling shock and disbelief. Is this for real? I kept waiting for the announcer to inform us that this launch was the trial run or something. My memory is pretty cloudy, but I don't remember discussing it much in class. The teachers were pretty stunned as well, and I think they just tried to move on with the day.

Even before the launch, a lot of attention was focused on Christa McAullife, the first teacher to participate in space travel. Science was never my favorite subject....very boring....how can you understand such "hands-on" concepts by merely reading a textbook? Anyways, even though I didn't consider myself good at science, I had an immediate connection to this teacher because she was the only other person I knew who shared my name. Kind of a silly reason, but I felt I held a special bond with her that none of my classmates would understand. Because of this, I wanted to go to Space Camp and be the next "Christa" to join a space mission.

Well as you know, this hasn't happened yet. But this anniversary reminds me of my past dreams and desire to do something significant. (I also wanted to be the first woman president.) My dreams have somewhat changed....maybe reality has just set in. I want my life to be less about me and more about loving and serving others. (But I keep getting in the way.) But the little girl in me every now and then yearns for something big to happen......

So I have 2 questions for you:
1. Where were you when the Challenger exploded?
2. What were/are your dreams?

random thoughts

1. This new "immune-boosting tablet" called Airborne....the commercials are crappy, but what I really don't get is their choice slogan: "The one created by a teacher and trusted by millions." I'd much rather ingest chemicals developed by a teacher rather than someone in, let's say, the MEDICAL profession?!

2. My work for a landscaping company has begun again. So... tis the season for crazy rants from gardeners around the country. First rant of the season: "Here I am. The greatest man on earth except God and Jesus." No kidding.

3. Toddler: I think I can now say Hannah has moved from babyhood into the exciting world of being a toddler. She is not as cooperative as she once was. (Please, no "I told you so's"....I"m not in the mood.)

4. Why is making a menu for the week so overwhelming to me? I've completed more difficult things, so why does this seem difficult? Other moms I"ve talked to claim it's easy. Rachel Ray does it everyday in 30 minutes! I'm not convinced.

That's all for now. Sorry if this sounds a bit whiny. I'll post something more positive later.

more lists...

I haven't posted in a very long time and still don't have much to say of significance. But one of my friends posted this list, so I thought I would too.

Four jobs you’ve had in your life:
1. delivered newspapers
2. Steak n' Shake waitress
3. 4th grade teacher
4. stay at home mom

Four movies you could watch over and over:
(I don't usually like to watch a movie more than once, but here are some I enjoyed a few times)
1. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the old one)
2. Office Space
3. My Best Friend's Wedding
4. Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Four places you’ve lived:
1. Gering, Nebraska
2. Lincoln, Illinois
3. Indianapolis
4. Normal

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. American Idol (new season next week!)
2. Saturday Night Live
3. Arrested Development
4. Seinfeld

Four places you’ve been on vacation:
1. Mt. Rushmore & Flinstone's Village (don't laugh, it was way cool for a young Nebraska girl)
2. Road trip along the California coast
3. Yellowstone National Park
4. Mexico

Four web sites you visit daily:
1. dooce.com
2. illinoise.net
3. igaff.com
4. cefcu.com

Four of your favorite foods:
1. nachos
2. pizza
3. ice cream
4. chicken fingers

Four places you’d rather be:
1. on the beach in the Carribean
2. in the midst of runners on race day
3. cuddling with Hannah after her nap
4. in the car on a road trip

Four albums/artists you can’t live without:
(I'm not sure I want to admit the strange variety of what I like....)
1. John Mayer
2. U2
3. Kelly Clarkson
4. Dave Matthews Band


Four magazines you read:
1. US Weekly (yes, I'll admit it!)
2. The Pantagraph....not a magazine, but that's about all the periodicals I read
3.
4.

Four cars you’ve owned:
1. 88 Dodge Colt
2. 98 Eclipse
3. 03 Honda CRV
4.


What about you?